Smile

One thing that I have learnt during SBE is try to smile every moment even though the pain is killing me inside. I am still learning this skill and I guess not most people own it. Maybe for some, they think it is better to just express everything what they feel inside. It's up to them. But to tell you, giving a smile won't hurt anyone. Instead, a little smile can make your day no matter how heavy the burden inside. I guess covering your burden with a sweet smile is one of the biggest challenges in life cause sometimes emotional control does matter in certain situation. Still, its up to us how we want to colour our day!

This is what I have learnt from someone - Kak Ti - and I will not forget it. Smile always, cheers!!!

Life Purpose

Just now, I was reading a wonderful post from a friend of mine ~ going oversea is wonderful, but it's worthless if there is no life-changing. It is a thinkable post and I guess everyone should read it. So after reading, I have this question on my mind; What is my real life purpose? I do have mine, but its kind of blur now. I have forgotten the things that I really want to focus in this life since I have stopped writing on my yearly planner. 

I think, I have to spend some time to sit down and ponder back what are the things that matter the most in my life: to be a successful teacher?? to make everyone around me happy?? to travel around the world?? to enjoy life to the fullest until my last breath?? they are part of it. But those are not the main one, I have to think it again. I know that God is always there, walking just right beside me. He always guides me through His beautiful plan in my life. Now, I have reached this point of life which sometimes I am not skilled to understand why I have to be here. For sure, God has His own reasons. I believe that and always believe.

Though I didn't get what I really want to be after my secondary days, but I know that I am walking in my mum's unfulfilled dream. It will be a challenges path to walk on and I have no other option but to be stronger in every step! So people, let us spend this little moment to ponder about our real life purpose and what are the things that matter the most. God has given us the drawing, its up to us what colour we want to put on it.

ST AGNES ~ you will be missed!

My lonely first day PBS in St Agnes turns out to be the most awesome one at the end of the day! The teachers are so friendly and even the staffs. Although the PKs are busy, still they did spend some time for me. Thank you so much. To Madam Kuilim M., Principle of St Agnes, thank you so much for accepting me! and to the lovely students, all the BEST!

I really have had great time doing my SBE here. I have learnt a lot! And only for the first time, I know that most teachers own different types of personalities; in class, in staffroom and outside school. They are still the same person but act according to what kind of environment they are in to.

Some of the memorable words from the adorable students are:

'slmat pg cikgu'

'hai cikgu!'

'cikgu msk klas kmi lg bsuk??'

'cikgu kta men kuiz2 lg!'

'cikgu cikgu...'

'cikgu last sda ni ari??alaa..'

'cikgu ada fb??'

'CIKGU KEJA SINI LA BA TRUS!!'

ST AGNES ~ you will be missed :(

SBE day 3 ~ 'bisuk cikgu masuk kelas kami lagikah?'

I reached school today around 7 am. As usual, we sing 'Negaraku' and 'Sabah Tanah Airku' before the class started. After singing, I met the ustazah to ask on the Muslim students' activities here. Suddenly, Kak Ti called me and asked me to be the relief teacher of four Harmoni ~ moral class. At first, I was having a second thought, I haven't plan anything. But she said

Kak Ti: tak apa, try saja, ala bdk2 ja tu, ble kamu app skill kamu..

Me: tapi kak, dorg x kenal sy

Kak Ti: xpa xpa, kakak bawa kamu jmpa drg skrg...

and I was like ...really???

Then we walked to 4 H and the only thing I can do was smiling in front of the students while Kak Ti was introducing my name to the students. After that, Kak Ti brought me to the canteen and invited me to have breakfast together. She spent me some more. Okay, this is to much. Huhu. However, I feel comfortable to be her company. She is so friendly and funny. 

At 9.10 am, I was standing in front of 16 moral students of 4H class. Okay, nervous! It took me few minutes to figure out how am I going to spend this one hour with them. So we started off by having simple ice breaking. I asked them to introduce their name, where they stay and their ambition. Most of them want to be doctors, scientists and police. Some do interested in teaching field. A few of them wish to be astronaut. So adorable! We continue our so-called lesson with a kind of 'Roda Impian' game and then proceeded by 'Kahwin, tunang, cerai' game! Frankly, I was really having fun with them though some can't just stop talking. They are so cute! And at the end of the class, I was touched when some of them said...

Student: bisuk cikgu masuk kelas kami lagikah?

Me: tgk dlu, kalu xda cikgu ganti, cikgu masuk jg. Napa? Kamu mau miss **** yg msk ka?

Student: xmo, kami mau cikgu

*smiling*

My day continued with me sitting down in the staffroom, drafting up all the questions for the interviews. Then, with a nervous heart, I met the GB. But she doesn't seem 'strict' when I interviewed her, indeed each word that came out from her mouth was followed by a sweet smile. Yeah, she do look friendly!

At 12pm, I met my cousin, poyong, she is in primary 1 (evening session). I still remember yesterday when I met her, she asked me a funny question; may, ko tia malu ka jadi cikgu? Then I laugh. I also don't know why she thinks that becoming a teacher is something that is embrassing. poyong poyong.

When the school finished, I met my other cousins, bibi and ayen. After taking lunch together, we strolled around the school compaound for me to take more pictures.

I stayed back until 3 to see the '1 Murid, 1 Sukan' program and become the 'photographer of the day'. Though it might look weird taking pictures around but I have too. If not, I won't have any pictures taken at the end of the day. So for this time, let me just take your pictures dear beloved students! I guess, the teachers do understand it and even Mr, Ruzaini encourage me to do so. Thank you for your understanding.

Overall, I was a bit happy today and it will be a day of remembrance of my first time entrance to the class. Tell you, it is a little bit difficult to handle a class of 16 students, but I am quite sure that the stress might be even greater when the student capacity is doubled or tripled.

Two more days, hopefully I can finish all the tasks given before the end of the day. I am sure that, I will miss this school later though last night my heart is shouting to go back IPBL.

I thank God that I managed to walk through the day.

SBE day 2 ~ 'Selamat pagi cikgu'

Today, I entered 2 classes to observe how the teacher teaches the students in the class. Then, I went around the school, interviewing some teachers and snapping more photos. And today, I still feel alone. But the happiest moments were when some of the students wish me 'Selamat pagi cikgu' ~ oww, so sweet.

And today, teacher Fatimah, or known as Kak Ti asked me if I want to be a relief teacher for tomorrow class. I think, i will give a try!

SBE day 1 ~ 'Hello St Agnes'

Today is my 1st day having my PBS at St Agnes, which was my former primary school. This was how the day went by:

I reached the school around 6.55 am and directly went to the main office. Unexpectedly, I bumped into the principle whom at that point of time, I didn't know that she is the principle. I only realise that she is when I saw her name tag! And I was a bit shocked when she said that the school didn't receive any letter about my 'coming' for pbs there. So, she just asked me to wait at the office because they are going to have assembly soon. 

Okay, I just waited with a worrying heart and confusing mind :( what should I do next? During waiting, I was hoping that there will be at least one from other IPG doing pbs together with me here. But it was just a dream, and I guess, I have to walk on this project alone here.

After the assembly finished, I met the principle, or the GB. At first, she looks quite strict, making me felt a bit awkward. After having a little conversation, I notice that she is rather friendly. She said that she is willing to accept me there for my 1 week PBS although there is no official letter from my college with one condition; I have to follow all the school rules, particularly when it comes to punctuality. Thank God.

Then, I met the PK 1; Mr Tony. He is so funny, just like the old days. He was my Science teacher when I was in primary 6. After talking for a while, he brought me to the staffroom. There, I met my former teachers; Cikgu Moston, Cikgu Elizabeth, Miss Chin, Cikgu Wilfred, Cikgu Julia, Cikgu Lilah, Cikgu Latifah, Cikgu Juliana, Cikgu Alice, Cikgu Mastikah and many more. I was also given a place to sit and a mentor who is teacher Alice; my former English teacher. I am lucky to have her as my mentor. She is so friendly and willing to help me with anything for my project. She did also give me some advices on how to be good English teacher, thank you teacher!!

The day ended with me strolling around the school, snapping some random pictures alone. Though st agnes is my former school, still there are some difficulties somewhere. The situation is now different. I guess, most of my classmates are so lucky because at least they do have some friends doing SBE in the same school together. But for me, I have to struggle all by myself and try my best to adapt with the environment here. This will be a tough week for me, but don't worry, I am going through it slowly and I believe that I am going to leave meaningful experiences at the end of my SBE here in st agnes. 

Tomorrow, I am going to meet the students!! 1st hour class,at 7 am in 6 Rajin!

Some of the random pictures taken on my 1st day of PBS

English

Suddenly, I miss to speak English. Though, I am not a good speaker and sometimes my pronunciation is out of place, still I feel that I am getting good in English. Even, in some of my earlier posts, I did mention how hard is it for me to cope with English and sometimes I become so emotional just because of the difficulties. See, how pathetic I was then.

I still remember, at the very beginning studying this course, TESL, I called my cousin, ray, begging for advices on how to study English. And her answer is only one, read English story books. At first, I was like, how am I going to read an English book when my 'interest' is not there. But, I guess that advice did work. So I just read and at last, I was addicted to it, maybe not really, but kind of. Because after some times didn't read, I will start asking books from my friends. Please lend me one! So people, one way to learn English is to read a lot, but English books of course!

Another thing that I notice is that by keep on reading English books, my confidence with the language also increase! At first, i find it hard to blog in English because I feel that my English is not good. Later, people will laugh at me. But now, I don't care about it any more because I am still learning the language. Those mistakes are made for me to learn.

I feel blessed that in my class (now), we have some good speakers; those who speak English fluently. Actually, they know how to speak Malay, but still they use English with us. So everyday when we meet, I have the chance to speak English with them. Thank you classmates!! It is also an advantage for us as we are taking four subjects which use English as the medium of instruction. So all the presentations, tasks and assignments must be in English.

And now, I am missing English environment. Never mind, in one week times, I will enter that environment again! For now, let me just speak my Sabahan language. Buli bah kalu ko!!

Ranau Trip

Finally, I got some fresh air to breath. Actually, I was away for 2 days and 1 night since last Tuesday. On that morning, I received unexpected text from my aunt, asking me to join them for a trip to Poring, Ranau. Plus, my other aunt, aunt enn and her family were going there too. So, by noon, we were on the way to Ranau and arrived Poring around 2 pm. The weather was superb! We checked in at Round Inn; the fee per night is cheaper like rm80 per night!

This was the Inn where we had our 1 night sleep at Poring. This Inn is located just across the Poring. The room was on the 1st floor, down there is a restaurant; serve no pork! After having our lunch, we went to the 'Butterfly Park' ! Sadly, there were not so many butterflies can be seen around. So, we just strolled and snapped some random pictures.

After a tiring walk, we decided to go back to our room and wanted to have some resting sleep. But suddenly, there was knock on the door. It was aunt enn inviting to join them for bath at Poring Hot Spring and the two little girls were like excitedly looking for their swimming suits. They really wanted to swim or maybe actually just want to play with the water. Although the weather was not really good, it was raining actually, still we managed to reach the pool and had some great time playing with the water. And I am happy that at least I managed to learn how to dive in the water. Then, we went back at 7pm and had our great sleep at the Inn.

The next morning, I was awaken by the sound of people running. It was my two little cousins, who were so excitedly running for the last chance for them to have some time playing in the water. Once again, aunt enn invited us to go for a very early in the morning swimming at the pool. But I was like, not this time. I still want to have my beauty sleep. After they went back, we then get ready and packed everything. The next destination was ....

This was the first time I came here. This place is not that far from the Ranau town, maybe around 20 minutes drive.

The aim of coming here is to have the fish to bite our legs because it is believed that the bites can remove the toxin in the body. But don't worry, it won't hurt. It feels like the fishes are tickling your legs. But actually, at first I was so scared just to get in into the water. Some of the fish are so big, just like the size of my arm. At last, I managed to get in the water though it was almost like the very last minutes. Because there is a time limit given which is only 15 minutes for a group of people and it is not free.  Anyway, it was still a great moment and I wish to come back here again so that these fishes can bite me!

Uncle aldrin, amber and aunt enn. Happy family!!

Our next destination was the Pine resort. Actually, we did nothing here but only to take some pictures! and seriously I fall in love with all the pine trees and the mountains!

Haha. Anyway, I really have had some great time, some fresh air to breath. Thank you so much aunt pat, poyong, ika, unc aldrin, amber and aunt enn for making my days so much fun! hehe

I wish to go here again.

For now, goodbye Mr. Pine trees!

and

Hello Mr. Assignments!!!

The diary keeper

I have been writing diary since I was in primary 5. The reason was because I had a crush to a guy that time; I guess this is how most girls started to keep diary. Anyway, it didn't last for a long time, so I threw that diary! And didnt write anymore until I entered SMESH. Every year, I will have one book for my diary and still have those diaries now. Don't know yet when I am going to dispose it all. It was so funny when I read my diary in form 1. It was written just like the 'skema karangan' with the first person 'aku' some more. But my style of writing changed year by year. When I entered IPBL, I wrote in BI which was only for a while. Then, I stop writing and officially become a full time blogger. So, this site is a place for me to write about everything; my feelings and memorable moments! Sometimes, I can be so emotional, so please bear with it people. But then, there are still certain things which are kept within me myself. I think, the too 'personal part' is better to be kept inside. Anyway, I am falling in love with writing and the language itself. Though, I not a good writer, but I am heading towards it. One day, I believe, I will be there. Pray for me yaA people !

I'm home!

I have so many stories to share but don't know which one to start first. But one thing for sure, I am home! Though it was rather dangerous to have a flight at night, especially with the bad weather around, still the 'flying iron bird' managed to safely landed in KKIA. To my dad, thank so much for picking me up in the middle of the night. I miss my home. yaayy!!

Anyway, I have been busy -ing myself with tons of assignments and activities these days!! And yesterday, we had a special assembly to farewell our director as he has been promoted. Congratulation Ayahanda! one thing for sure, you will be missed!! This means after holiday, we are going to have a new director.

I am going to have my holiday for two weeks. The first week is a holiday for me. But still I have to do some assignments which are to be handed in after these holidays. Then, the following week, I am going for my school based experience (SBE), at SRK St Agnes which was my former primary school. Glad to go there but still, I have some nervousness inside. Still wandering how SBE is going to be. Haha. After that, I need to prepare report for the SBE. Hopefully, everything will go well.

I feel that I am one of the blessed people in this world. Blessed to have great family and friends. Blessed to have food everyday. Blessed to freely seek education. Blessed to live in a peaceful country. I am really blessed and so you are people. We should be thankful for every little things that we have.

Because at this moment, there people who are suffering out there, craving for foods and shelters. Some are mourning their loved ones. Others are struggling hard just to breath. Maybe, at this moment we are smiling, but not for Japan. The 8.9 magnitude earthquake in Japan has shocked the whole world. Let just spend this little moment to pray for them.

The call

O ya, last night I received a call from a strange number; +0309 ! At first, I was scared to take the call because it reminded me of the nombor m***h. But then, I just picked the phone and guess what, it was allyn!! Ponsikou noh tomod alyn for calling me all the way from Aussie!! Really have a great conversation with allyn though the line is a bit slow. I miss her so much!! hope you are doing fine there miss allyn! I know it might be hard, but I am sure you are a strong woman, you will get used with the environment in time. Have faith allyn !!!

Anyway, have a happy day everyone! Let us smile to each other!

Outing & Food

One more week to go home.

I have been for two outings with my beloved classmates this week. First to Mcd which happened spontaneously. For the first time, we did not plan it at all. But it was a great outing day or should I pronounce it as a great 'food day'.

The second outing was yesterday. We went to Boulevered to celebrate chang's birthday. As usual, I ate a lot !!!

Accident

This evening, I was cycling the borrowed bicycle when I had gotten into a small accident and hurt my knee.  I felt so guilty because I hit one of the juniors before I fell down to the ground. So sorry junior. I knew, it was my fault because I should have cycled from the opposite direction or at least press the brake or maybe shout more loudly.

This will remain not only as a scar but a deep remainder for me to be extra careful in the future!

And the most embrassing part was when my tears dropped in front of so many people whom were mostly the TESL juniors! that was really really embrassing. But then, the tears was not because of the pain but because i was touched by the kind-hearted juniors. Thank you so much for the helping hands juniors!

I am wondering when will be my next cycling. Trauma? Not really, but I will need some time to stay away from you Mr. Bicycle.