The Journey

Promising to self to blog more this holiday but it was a fail. Maybe, I am not in that mood to write anything down. As holiday has almost come to an end, I decide to stay away from connecting with the Net. Spending more time on lively activities or just pondering my surrounding area. Getting to know, learn and understand how things work out,  how events carry the rippled effects and how people idealise their life. Weeks ago, few big rocks bumped into me, figuratively. At first, I thought that it was the end, but the story still need a continuation. Came another one which almost sunk me down and ripped the whole thing out. This time, I saw blank. I just felt like hiding under the blanket forever. But God triggers me. It was not the finishing line but the starting of another chapter.

As I age up, I realise that I am making so much assumptions, thinking and figuring on all the events in life. It is not just merely crowning one as a champion or a failure but it is a real, planned JOURNEY to be travelled. Regardless of all the things that happened, it gives me more opportunities to carry out new 'missions', commence conversations with those unknowns and experience the difference emotional states. True, that life can be 'suck' at time. There are people out there who will treat you the way you never expect, who will take you for granted, who want to show you that they hold the power to make you feel tiny. Still, there are many who own big hearts, who will give you opportunity to strive, who unconsciously share their stories to light you up and so on. Through everything, I learn that, no matter what the result is,  do acknowledge it because it is journey to be travelled, even when it goes to the downhill. I promise you that there is always light of hope at the end of the dark tunnel if you never give up hope. The reasons might not be unveil soon, but perhaps years later. 

Maybe, the road that I am going to travel later is a hilly one, and that is one of the reasons why I had been put into that situation. The experience gained from that journey, I will embrace it in my heart forever. 

Little things in LIFE

In 4 more months, I will be entering my 22th years old age. Time flies so fast, isn't it? When my parents were at this age, it was the 'perfect' time for a girl be be married. But now, in this new era of generation, most ladies would like to focus more on their studies and establishing themselves in the career as well as to be financially stable before settling down. In between, there are some things that need to be put on hold until the right time come. 

In this state of life, i feel so blessed. Looking into everything, it is so beautiful. Yes, i am thankful despite of all the mix emotions and unexpected things in life. Having my family and friends around complete the circle of my life. I learn to see the little blessings and appreciate each of them. I was knocked down but gain the strength back to get up. Sometimes, i did complain on things but that is how i learn to see the different sides of life. 

When i am at the stable state, God made me to be the blessing to others' life. But that stable state won't last forever either, i do need some helping hands and everyone does too. Humans are created with the good and bad traits as well as with diverse strengths and weaknesses so that they are able to find the balance point in their life. So that, they learn to support each other reciprocally. The differences complete the human relationships. Life is just unexplainable. Different people have different says about life. When you are moving on your path don't fasten yourself forward, learn to slow down and enjoy the ride in life. That is how you will see the little things that matter in life. Life has many chapters too and it is up to us to doodle something on that chapter or just leave it blank for the rest of the life. I choose to enjoy every chapter, put some memories in them. Indeed, God has a great plan for us but we have to make the first step to begin something. 

Above all, I thank God for everything in my life and for making me to learn and see the little things in life.

Happy Blessed Sunday :)

Farewell 2012!

In 2012, i learn to be thankful in whatever situation i am. Everything is just more that enough. Thank you Lord for the blessings in my life. Though things are just so hard, so unexpected, so heartbreaking, so painful, and hopeless sometimes, i am thankful that He always there for me, never fail to lift me up. Thank you Lord. 

Indeed, there were times when i just want to stop being at some places and stop meeting some people. The feeling was so strong but still something keeps me on walking on that road. I am so thankful that people around me, family and friends, never stopping reaching out their hands for me. Never stop  giving motivating words and cracking jokes to lighten up the environment. I am not able to pass the word thank you to each and everyone of you but i appreciate every single things you did. Thank you friends. They are the anonymous saints sent by God to me. 

In 2012, i may have hurt some hearts too, maybe a lot of them. I sorry for it. I may have been selfish at some points. I may have uttered some unpleasant words. I am sorry for everything. 

I just want to be thankful for everything in my life now. For every single thing i have, every single person around me and every single moment that happened. 

Thank you everyone. Thank you Lord :)

A reflection

It is not easy to cover up for others, especially those who caused so much pain to your soul. Not easy at all. 

Sometimes, people are talking about you at the back and it is not easy to still held up your head and pretend like nothing happened. Sometimes, people purposely push you towards the edge and it is not easy at all to stand still even though you know that at any minute, you will fall. Sometimes, people are planning something bad towards you, knowing about it and pretend like nothing is just like having your brain and purposely not digesting the fact. Sometimes people took away your things and never returned it back and it is not easy at all to comfort your heart and tell just to let it go. Sometimes people get credits for your work and it is not easy at all to just keep it down when you have to do the extra work without publishing how much destructive it had caused to yourself. It is just not easy at all to just walk away without pushing a charge to those who hurt and tear yourself down. And it is not easy at all to walk away without blaming others for causing you so much pain. even though that pain is meant for something good or for a purpose. Sometimes things are just so hard, so difficult and all you need to do is just to hold on, keep it silently down inside your heart. 

But at some points, without realizing it, we survived the battle!

It is just NOT in my nature to openly blame others, or hold any grudge or finger points others for the mistakes they caused. It is just not so me to use any remark to label others' actions. I rather held the white flag, not because to show the sign of weakness but that is what i believe the most. I don't like fighting, arguing or blaming. Yes, many things happened throughout this year. Most of the time i choose to keep things low. But somehow, after all, i just feel so burden-less inside. 

Thank you God for taking away the 'pain'. Lord, i pray for you to heal the broken relationship, the broken hearts and the broken souls. May all of us start freshly in Your grace and love. Amen :)

This just as a reflection with no intention to create any hard feeling between any soul.

you.and.them.are.BLESSINGS.in.my.life

I have chosen these words -you.and.them.are.BLESSINGS.in.my.life- as the title for my blog for some reasons.

The first one is because i believe that everything that comes to my life, good or bad, is a blessing. Yeah, its true that at some points in my life i do feel unsatisfied with the things around me. I complained and blamed people. But after complaining and said those things out, then only i feel a bit relieve. At times, i choose to keep my dissatisfaction inside or just ignore it. After all the bad and moody days go away, then only i realise something. The pain that i had gone through was the one that makes myself stronger each day. It teaches me something about life. I have learnt that there is a reason for everything and it will be only revealed at the end, which is on the right moment.

I still remember the moments where i had lost my spectacles during our drama competition in Sibu last year, that moments had taught me something about being grateful in life. I can't really remember how i lost it. The only thing that i knew that time was blaming myself for being so careless. So, i had to see with my blurry sight for few weeks. I wanted to buy new spectacles, but i was worried that it would cost me a lot of money, cause the price of the spectacles which i lost was around rm200, and that was almost half of my allowance. I don't want to burden my parents asking for money anymore. So i just kept quite and bear with the situation. In class, i almost lost my interest in learning literature cause i can't see the written words on the board. Then, after few weeks, i went to Saberkas with my classmates, and that day i didn't know why i really feel like stepping into the spectacles' shop. Right at that moment, i called my mom and honestly admit to her about my lost spectacles. Surprisingly, she just asked me to buy new one. So i went to the spectacles shop and saw a pair spectacles which was exactly the same with the design and colour of my former spectacles, and it only cost around rm60, almost 3 times cheaper than the former one. That was great!

Most importantly, at the end, the 'moment-of-having-no-spectacles' makes me realise that i am so blessed that i still can see through my eyes even though it is blur cause there are people out there who can't even see a single thing on this earth. We should be grateful for all the things in our life. It is not wrong to complain, just say out all your worry, cause God will be listening all the times. Everything will take place at the right time. good and bad things are surely followed by a blessed moment one day.

I strongly believe that you.and.them.are.BLESSINGS.in.my.life:)

'Facing the Giants'

As usual, every Thursday night, we will be having activity at the chapel. The activity for this week was movie night and we had watched this movie - 'Facing the giants'. It is such a wonderful and full of motivation kind of movie. It brought some refreshment to myself. Lessons that i have learnt from this movie are:

everyone fails at some points

stay humble but confident

face your fear

whatever comes to you life, leave it all to GOD

Sometimes it is not the problem that is chasing us but it is a challenge that we have to overcome and can only be solved in the present of God in our heart.

Smile

One thing that I have learnt during SBE is try to smile every moment even though the pain is killing me inside. I am still learning this skill and I guess not most people own it. Maybe for some, they think it is better to just express everything what they feel inside. It's up to them. But to tell you, giving a smile won't hurt anyone. Instead, a little smile can make your day no matter how heavy the burden inside. I guess covering your burden with a sweet smile is one of the biggest challenges in life cause sometimes emotional control does matter in certain situation. Still, its up to us how we want to colour our day!

This is what I have learnt from someone - Kak Ti - and I will not forget it. Smile always, cheers!!!