I miss it!

I read my old FB status and it reminds me about the old days ~ how i miss it !

I realise that it was until the earlier 2011 year that i had been actively in contact with my friends and after that i didn't know what happened. Seems like a line had stopped there. Maybe it was my fault that i was not that so active to be in touch with everyone. Or is it because everyone is growing, and the distance grow apart too. Frankly, I never want that friendship circle to break. Even though everything has changed but i believe our friendship promise is tightly held. 

Everyone is widely spread around the world. Committed to study and building up future. It feels like just yesterday i was sitting in a class and learning all the mathematics formula, reading literature and writing essay with everyone. The next day could be one of the biggest days in our life ~ graduation, first day of working, enjoying our salary and getting married with someone special. The life transition is faster than i thought. Everyone is catching up with their own life. It is like entering a new stage of life. Before we were to deal with school, friends, homework and so on. Now, more to graduating, having a stable career & financial and looking for life lover. Looks like some has found their partners and gotten into serious relationship. So, don't forget to save one invitation card for me.Whatever is it, i wish that everyone is doing great with their life.

Dear Smeshians 0408 ~ i miss you all, sorry for not being in contact always, lets meet again in the future.

Small Feast

At last, everything finishes just in time. I'm still breathing, safe and sound as usual. Let's not talk about all the hectic days. Let's move forward, and see all the beautiful things ahead. 

There are some coming activities to end my year in IPBL.We will be having our annual dinner this 5th of October with 'Down to the Memory Lane' theme. But i can't even remember those things that make me to become who i am today when i first stepped into IPBL because they are just so many of it. Blessings :). Another thing is that i am going to dance for Musical night this year too. It is going to be my fourth time joining this event. This year i will be dancing some of the ethnics dance - Iban, Bidayuh, Ulu and Sabahan. The most exciting part is that i am going to wear the Iban costume, which is the first time in my life ! yaayyy ! We will be entering the netball tournament too, hope so. Last but not least, exam will be the concluding event before the year end holiday. Wish us all the best.

To celebrate my freedom, I had a small feast for myself last night. yeee !

For all the blessings, good or bad, thank you Father.

'It Matters Whom You Marry'

My friends share this link in the FB and i feel, it does and REALLY matter of whom you marry. Here are some words that i found inspiring if one is to pursue a love relationship, in Christian views:

Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn't know and love your Lord.

Many women have married spiritually immature men, thinking that it wasn’t a big issue, or that the man would change, and they were wrong. They bear the scars.

Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you.

True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones.

Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

Just a little thoughts. Dear women out there ~ the right one will come at the right time, choose wisely and don't forget to pray it. God knows the best.

Girls are like apples

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Someone told me years ago to 'StarDB4U♥+1'. Even though i fall for once, but now I'm standing with it again, until everything is settle down, until my ♥ is ready enough.

SYD 3

I know it had been more than one month, but still the memory of SYD 3 is crystal clear in my mind ! I love all the activities organised and people i met. Can't believe that i am able to participate this once in a 4 years event. 

SYD 3 was held in Tambunan at the Holy Cross Toboh Church. It was a 6 days 5 nights camp. Our contingent, Menggatal, was chosen to stay with foster family. The village that we stayed is not that far from the church itself. Just 20 - 30 minutes walk and we walked everyday go and back except the last day. Yes, at first it was really tiring to walk especially at night. No light street at all. But actually out of all the activities, this walking part was the best. It is part of the journey in SYD 3. 

To sum up, let the pictures talk.

Menggatal contingent with our yell ~ tarikkkkkkk !

us ~ assigned to be the choirs for the second day mass at the church :) 

Picture at the Groto

Picture with our foster family. Simple living yet full of blessing. God blesses mama & family :)

Another wonderful thing about SYD is that it is a place for gathering. I got to meet lot of my friends who are

gibo & ray, my secondary school friends

green shirt, Cindy, my part time friend at Sabah Air

white shirt, Tiara, who is from the same village with me and she shares some significant memory with me.

IPBL-ians ~ libe, elsie & eva

the 2nd place winner of Sabah Beauty pageant 2012 

my second cousin, claire, my mother and his father are the first cousins 

last but not least, the syd singer, who is eva's sister

the pictures i love the most is here;

me and sheryl !

Anyway, SYD 3 was really awesome! It leave some significant impacts to myself. Thank you GSCM youths, thank you to the organizers, thank you to all youths, thank you to all families and thank you Father.

Looking forward for SYD 4 2016 ~ tawau maree!

My hope, faith and love

Hello there !

How is life? mine? quite hectic, sleepless night, tiring day. But despite of those battles, i am still blessed. Looking back at everything, all was wonderfully planned! Thank you Lord. Yes, these few days had been really a struggle for me. But I survived. Between this business lies some empty ports for me to take at least a short rest. It's weekend ! Yeaayy !

I had written lots of random posts lately and my attitudes were quite shakeable that i had come to some points in my life where i caught myself becoming more demanded that before. It was so different of me. But i guess it is part of the growing process. Trying to balance my attitudes, thoughts and acts. Distinguishing some things in my life. There might be some immature thoughts and childish acts poured around but it have no intention to offence any party. 

Talking about the future, I had my wish lists for it. I had been wishing it since i was in school. Yet, some of the wishes was just a dream, unfulfilled one. It is vanishing away. I had my plan but God has a BIGGER plan for me. Day to day, i realise that i have a special call in this life. It is to touch the heart of the new generation. Becoming a future teacher ~ that is part of the blessings in my life. Along the way, i have to leave some things, some people and some chances. 

Maybe, i don't have the opportunity to study abroad, to experience how it feels to stay in a place with four seasons, and to sit a bus that are full of unknown people. But i know God has a GREAT plan for me. There are reasons why i have  to step on some grounds, to bump into some people, to sit on some chairs, to sleep on certain bed and to walk on certain paths. There are reasons for it. I am not skilled to understand it now. But I believe, it is a wonderful one. 

Life is just so mysterious. I don't know what are the things waiting for me ahead, the people whom i will meet and that someone who will put a ring on my finger. What ever the surprises lie ahead, good or bad, I will always have my hope, faith and love in God.

Tired.

I just woke up and i feel extremely exhausted ~ physically, emotionally and mentally. These few days had been really hectic. Don't know how i managed to survive with everything. I feel that i had been consuming too much coffee and nescafe for the last few days, it was like 2 or at least one packet each day. Too bad for my health. I am really in need for a 'fresh air'.

Dear Lord, be with me. 

Paris

I am going to buy a nice 'flat' in Paris. Yes I am. But the 'flat' that i am referring to actually is the 'pair of women's shoes with very low heels' (Oxford Dictionary). I was quite surprised when people thought that it was the apartment. I never thought of that unless i am to be married with some Parisian man. Who knows? Hehe. Anyway, I have always and wanted to go to Paris. I want to have a picture taken in front of the Eiffel Tower. Perhaps, someday.

Mixture of thoughts

Here comes the most packed week for us! Not with activities but tons of assignments. I wonder if teachers-to-be are the only humans who have the most assignments on earth. I am not here to complain. But just to leave a note that i might not be available for couple of days or a week maybe. Hopefully everything will be just alright, run smoothly without too much stress air along the way or stressed people. But don't worry, we are going to make this! Hwaiting to all my tesl siblings and mates.

Remember, i posted something about how we were being quite disrespect with some lecturers weeks ago. It happened again today. Yet, no one is to be blame. I can't read his heart, but his expression showed what he exactly felt. Please don't do it any more. Have some hearts. They deserve respects though they might not speak they way we understand or spoon-feed us with comprehensible inputs. I regard us all as young adults, who know to look for knowledge by ourselves not to solely depend on the lecturers itself. Even though we score high marks, own a beautiful face, have lots of money but without good hearts and attitudes, all are nothing at all. 

At times, i can sense some 'unhappiness' air around. It makes me want to be home. Even though i am so used to be far away from home, but if i were asked the thing i  wanted the most right now, it will be home.

Most of the times, my thought is not burdened by the assignments or my study part but it is mostly on my life. As if something is unsure about the path even though i am doing well. As if something is missing. Dear God, give me strength to face whatever is it that lies ahead. 

Judgmental

Everyone has the right to pour out their thoughts. For me, there is no right or wrong things in this world. It is what you believe the most that influence your judgements on certain things in life. You might think it wrong but for some people it is right thing to do. Overall, it depends on our own stance. What we believe the most, what serve as the basis of everything in our life. We are free to express our thoughts, free to act like what we want to. Still, in everything there is a price to be paid. Certain people might not feel uncomfortable with us. There are some who will condemn our actions. Things happen that way whether to teach us or to help us to balance our own thought. If it is good for us, take it. If not, then just ignore it. Don't be too judgemental. Don't complain too much. If you are to complain then say it in a way that won't hurt others. Even though we were taught to be a critical thinker, think wisely, do things in the way that you believe the most, remember there are prices tagged in each word that come out from our mouth.

I did not talk that much for most of the time. Not because i disagree. Not because i agree too. And not because i am trying to be the good character in every story. But the quietness in me was spent for me to adjust my own thought. I never condemn others' sayings. It is up to them what they want to say but please don't 'bark' things out. 

In most of the time, it depends on us how to perceive things. Bear in mind, that people do not have the same thinking. Yes, it might be the same thought but the belief might be varies at different degree.

Camps in a row

SYD & BIG camps done ! Tomorrow will be another camping, which might be the last one for this semester. It is a UB camp, KRS and i am super duper excited for it ! can't wait for all the adventurous activities ! Out of everything, i really enjoy camping. I have always love camping since ages !

P.S. Have you ever dreamt of going for a date with someone ? I did and it was really really a great feeling!

Thankful. Grateful. Blissful.

'Up to one moment in my life, all i want to do is only to THANK GOD for everything'

Despite of all the downs, everything turns out so well. i have nothing more to ask. i have never expected that my last semester result is going to be like that. yes, i still don't understand how i managed to make it. but with God's grace, He makes all things right, He plans everything perfectly. I just want to thank for it. another thing that makes me feel so blessed was the time spent together with my family the night before i went for SYD. It had been such a long time we had never gathered as 'one' family, i might say it had been like 7 years. It was a truly great night for us, the jokes and laughs, i will miss a lot of it. i hope that we could have more time spent together in days to come. the SYD camp was a part of the blessings. even though, my SYD spirit almost dried up, there is voice inside me that keeps telling me to go for it. YES! it was a really wonderful, full of new brand insights and uplifting moments. for everything, i just want to say THANK YOU LORD.

When i reflect everything back, it was quite a tough journey. through the ups and downs, i learn to find myself, i learn to define my stance. i learn to surrender everything, even the slightest one, to God. for everything in my life, i want Him to be the centre of it. 

To some people in my life, i never have the hatred feeling against you all. never want to dislike either. but i was just a bit hurt with some little matters and with that i choose to stay away from some individuals. i never blame anyone for it and never want to. i just want a space for my life, to adjust everything. to put everything in place and to settle it in a proper way. i forgive you and forgive myself too. let just start a new chapter, walk on a new path with new people. i believe God has a beautiful plan for each and everyone of us. it is a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future :)

I might have hurt some hearts along the way. i am so sorry, i never mean to do it, but it is for good, for us.

'I am unable to give my heart or make any promise because my HEART belongs to God and my PROMISE is written on my vow which only to be given and recited on THAT day with GOD as the centre of everything'

For all the BLESSINGS in my life, thank you Lord.