1/3 of the final phase!

Finally, I have made it to 1 month, which left 2/3 journey. 

Yes, there were days when things get so challenging, not just on the unending workloads every night but attending all the words poured in the classroom. It is a great challenge to listen to all the pupils' requests at one time. I wish I could just attend one person or few souls at a time, but no, I have 38-40 pair of eyes to look after in the class, not to mention things outside of the classroom. Though it is just like one hour per day, but still it is not an ABC task. Yet, looking on the positive sides of everything, it always motivates my heart to see their spontaneous and pure acts. It wipes away all the tiredness and moans inside. For the two months journey left, I hope that I could leave something that is not just meaningful for their learning but also lasting for their souls. 

It really amazed me to see how those teachers stand firmly at the teaching line for so many years. Their souls must be the 'unbreakable' ones after all those times and I hope I could be like one someday.

"Teaching is a service to God. We may not save lives, but we save a generation."

19 January

As I don't have any exact topic to focus on, lets just hope '19 January' gets enough vibe to capture the readers' heart ;)

Long list of tasks to be completed for the final, but the enthusiasm level is inconsistent in nature! Okay, I've just realised that I've been a loyal essay writer these days and even submitted some to others. OMO. So for this time, just a brief shout out: I'm having my final teaching practice in one week time! Three months all together. Two supportive and encouraging lecturers plus two mentors from the school will observe me for this phase. One of the lecturers will be supervising my Action Research progress. I hope the consultancy process will be a smooth one and  promise to embrace the learning process! Tons of opportunities for learning are lying on the ground too, I shall take a brave step to at least go for one of them.  

Currently, I'm so into a Korean variety show, Appa Odiga, but still I am a loyal fan to Running Man! Maybe I have this strong chemistry of seeing those kids, innocent, pure and adorable! Will write some reviews on that show soon. By the way, my favourite is Yoon Hoo and his father, Min Soo! If I am to write why, then it will take an essay, thus I shall stop then on that part.

Starting the year with one big mission: trying my best to get a healthier lifestyle. Drink at least 2 litre of water each day. Jog at least 3 times a week. Sleep at least 6 hours per night. Less sugar, no Maggie (new resolution!), fruity and vege diet. Be more productive. Okay, too many on the list, but if one really wants something it is not wrong to put efforts on it, working at his/her own pace. Let see where the efforts will bring me!

I'm thinking of getting my hair cut to shoulder length, as I don't have any version of that hair in my college life. Who knows, it will be an eye candy vibe to everyone, just like Ji Hyo. Plus, it will save more time on getting ready for the class. I need to get my heart decisive to have a go on it!

Sleeping puppy!

This is how i feel today!

I'm so fine!

Breath in, breath out. I'm fine. I'm so fine! :)

One Day!

Photo Source

I'm going for this. One day!

Becoming a teacher: A blessing!

Every profession is 'special' in its own way. Yet, it depends greatly on one of how he wants to set the degree of specialness.

Why being a future educator is so special for me? Because a teacher is a life saver of someone's entire life. The impact, no matter small or big, that teacher brings to the class could jeopardize one's future or could turn him into a great person one day!

Studying in teacher institute is not just merely of passing the examination, or scoring the highest pointer, or joining activities around campus, or having fun with course mates, or performing in an event, or staying up the whole night just to finish assignment. It is more than that. It is a process to prepare me for the real challenges in the career that i have chosen.

I don't want to graduate with just an excellent achievement in degree course, but i want to graduate with a smile on my lip and satisfied heart seeing back all the journey that i have travelled for years which has turned me to be my 'real' self. I don't want to graduate just as a knowledgeable teacher in my major field, but with the heart to share the knowledge I have with others. I don't want to graduate with just a title as 'Teacher' in my hand, but I want to stand with the title as a passionate teacher. Because the road that i am going to travel later is a long one, and just merely graduating might fade away the 'spirit' in myself. Studying for five and the half years is a room for me to build that endless passion as a teacher who don't only teach and educate but also inspire the heart of young generations. 

Being in college for five and the half years is a great opportunity for me to explore the different sides of myself through the activities, even the simple one, that are held. The assignment given every semester is not for me to just complete it, but it is a medium for me to improve and do better than the previous one. The events held are not just for me to join and enjoy but also a great paradise for me to discover the talents in myself. Maybe, some prefer to travel the journey in just a simple manner. As long as they pass, as long as they graduate, it would be okay. Yes, I do agree that simplicity is the best. But won't it be great to travel on the up and down path, on the challenging road, just like riding a roller coaster which bring a heart pounding excitement! 

Being a TESL student at first was something that my heart don't favour at all. Too hard to cope, especially when doing things that is not for your heart or something that you are not good at. But looking back the journey that i have travelled so far, it is more than worth. I am walking down this path for various 'real' reasons. Not just to be good at what i am not good at, not just to love at one I don't, but to be the 'blessings' for others that I met and going to meet along the way. There are many paths that i have travelled, some bring me to the down side, some to the up side, but i have no regret travelling on it. Because if i haven't taken some paths that are so different from others, i won't reach at this stage of life, and i won't meet the people in this position of life. But i have and i never regret it. 

In this stage of life, with the good and bad things, with the positives and negatives auras, with the up and down feelings, i still and always feel blessed. Indeed, God's plan is greater than i know. 

Becoming a teacher is not just a special call for me, but a blessing! :)
It is a long way to go, but i am sure i am able to go through it with God's grace.

Fireworks

One of the best feelings is to have fireworks everywhere.

Photographer: Joseph Hong, 2013

'A Sharing'

'A Sharing'

It had been exactly a year time when this post was published in my blog. On that night one my my lecturers shared some things about her experiences. She told us that.. 'In whatever position we are right now, there is a reason for it. God has His own purpose of making who we are right now. Even if you are single or in a relationship with someone, there is a reason for sure. There is something that we have to accomplish between these 'space and time'. Time travels in one direction, always move forward and never to the past or stop. Hence make full use of every single moment in our life. Chance may only come for once. Never let it go. Enjoy all the things that you supposed to have in your life's stage now, cause when the stage pass you will never ever get the chance to be there again'.

At this moment, i am sure that in this 'position' of life, i have something to accomplish, not only to myself but also to the people around me. It may be big ones or just a simple one, like walking down a road and smile to people who pass by.

'This path might not be the easiest nor the most convenient but it'll be perfect because it's right where He wants you to be.'

Happy Sunday :)

The 'Goals'

I had written a post on my 'New Year Resolution'. It had been a month and everything is going quite well. I have tried to put things in place and find the balance point of it. You know, when so many things going on, it will be quite hard to focus on everything at a time. After a month, i have been thinking about the 'goals' in 2013, my so called specific 'aims'. So, here they are:

1. Donate blood ~ which i did, for the first time ever: yesterday! *clap* ~ will have a long elaborated story on that later with the picture of my blood! 

2. Learn to swim ~ yes, i can swim but it doesn't last like forever, not even minute! so i have to learn how to save myself, in case i might be thrown into a deep sea someday in the future. Swimming mates, let us go swimming later!

3. Travel somewhere ~ i wanna go travelling somewhere! If it is not an oversea travel, let it just be an over-the-sea trip then. that will do!

4. Get my driving licence ~ I was supposed to finished everything last year but too much delays occurred at the last bit, so in 2013 i must learn to drive like a lady boss on the road!

5. Lose weight, at least 2-3 kg ~ though people around are saying how 'slim' i have been for the past few months, still i want to lose some more. So, a note to self: jog more, get healthy diet, and enough beauty sleep everyday!

I think these goals is achievable. Don't you think so? Sometimes we just need to challenge our inner side, accomplish something that is slightly beyond our capability. Don't be surprised that it may lead you somewhere you never thought before, a fascinating and adventurous ride!

Learn to set goals in your life. Even if your are entering a class, you will have a goal for your pupils to achieve on that particular lesson, don't you fellow teachers? :)

Sunday's Wonder

Sometimes, i wonder what should i be?

1. Should i be beautiful in the eyes of everyone? or 

2. Be a plain average girl? or 

3. Be what society want me to be?

After wandering for thousands times i found the answer. It is not about being beautiful or stay plainly or be like what a society demands you to be. Everyone owns an identity. Everyone has the BEST in himself/herself. So be the BEST of yourself. Be the way you want to be! 

Happy Sunday. Smile!

Blog Update

I've made some drastic changes to my blog; changing the layout, adding and removing things as well as moving some posts to my other blog which is kept in a private mode. Yes, there are some things that no need to be written publicly. Still, some memories need to be shared with the eyes of the world. 

Little things in LIFE

In 4 more months, I will be entering my 22th years old age. Time flies so fast, isn't it? When my parents were at this age, it was the 'perfect' time for a girl be be married. But now, in this new era of generation, most ladies would like to focus more on their studies and establishing themselves in the career as well as to be financially stable before settling down. In between, there are some things that need to be put on hold until the right time come. 

In this state of life, i feel so blessed. Looking into everything, it is so beautiful. Yes, i am thankful despite of all the mix emotions and unexpected things in life. Having my family and friends around complete the circle of my life. I learn to see the little blessings and appreciate each of them. I was knocked down but gain the strength back to get up. Sometimes, i did complain on things but that is how i learn to see the different sides of life. 

When i am at the stable state, God made me to be the blessing to others' life. But that stable state won't last forever either, i do need some helping hands and everyone does too. Humans are created with the good and bad traits as well as with diverse strengths and weaknesses so that they are able to find the balance point in their life. So that, they learn to support each other reciprocally. The differences complete the human relationships. Life is just unexplainable. Different people have different says about life. When you are moving on your path don't fasten yourself forward, learn to slow down and enjoy the ride in life. That is how you will see the little things that matter in life. Life has many chapters too and it is up to us to doodle something on that chapter or just leave it blank for the rest of the life. I choose to enjoy every chapter, put some memories in them. Indeed, God has a great plan for us but we have to make the first step to begin something. 

Above all, I thank God for everything in my life and for making me to learn and see the little things in life.

Happy Blessed Sunday :)

'Wedding Frenzy' [Tagged]

I've been tagged by my cousin, peatty. So here it goes :)

1. How old are you?

I'm still 21! Will be 22 on 6th May 2013.

2. Are you single? 

I'm in a long relationship with Mr. Rooster! 

'Heyy Rooster! You're so fine, you're so fine!' 

3. At what age do you think you'll get married? 

Perhaps before i reach my 30 years old age or when the time come, one day!

4. Do you think you'll marry the person you are with now?

Should i marry you Mr. Rooster? 

5. If not, who do you want to marry? 

A soul, someone whom must be somewhere on this earth, perhaps.

6. Who will be your bridesmaid & best man?

My little sister and my best sisters! My father will always be the best man in my life and on that special day!

7. Do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding? 

I love both and want to have both, may i?

8. Where do you plan to go on honeymoon? 

Anywhere, a trip around Sabah will do too! Paris, perhaps?

9. How many guests do you think you'll invite? 

Hundreds or thousands, as long as my family and friends are there.

10. Will that include your exes? 

Everyone is welcomed!

11. How many layers of cake do you want? 

Can it be 5? That is my favourite number.

12. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?

Same with my cousin, morning till midnight! Lets rock the party people!

13. Name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding. 

I don't have any particular song yet, but i would love to have Jason & Colbie (Lucky) song to be played on that day!

14. Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon & fork?knife? 

Buffet, so that everyone will get the chance to make another rounds!

15. Champagne or red wine?  

Anything will do.

16. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding? 

Anytime will do.

17. Money or household items?

Both will do.

18. How many kids would you like to have?

Not sure yet but the more the merrier right?

19. Will you record your honeymoon in DVD/CD? 

Yes and take a lot of pictures!

20. Whose wedding plan would you like to know next?

Allyn, Ellye, Syva, Ray, Sofia, Michelle, Png, Ann, Mimi, Faz

This is only if i am to be (arranged-ly) married. Who knows, i might want to spend the rest of my life travelling around the world looking for the perfect spots to picture myself!

The New Year Resolutions

My new year resolutions? Yes i do have some general ones which are;

1. Eat more healthy food: fruits and green vegetables

2. Read more books: novels

3. Have enough sleep: 6 hours at least

4. Do more sports: jogging!

5. Give some times for self-reflection

6. Spend more times with family and friends
7. Save some money
8. Drink more plain water

9. Smile more!
10. Be grateful and pray :)

Of course things won't always go the way we want but at least i have some guidelines for the new year. Most importantly, be blessing to others, stay the course!

2013 IPBL

Finally, my third year as Degree student has come and i can smell the air pressure around. I haven't even entered the class, the lecturers had started looking for me. Don't worry, i am in progress of looking for moves and will be burning some oils tonight to look through the script. Indeed, this is a gold opportunity for me being in that position to learn more in other perspectives of life. But still, i do need some helping hands to work on it. Dear TESL siblings, let us work together for this production and for overall activities along this semester and onwards. 

Two more years to go. May God bless this journey as future teacher and inspiring educator :)

PS. It will be a miracle if we meet, but we did not. I guess, it is save for the future.

Vacation!

I'm so in the mood for vacation right now! Anyone, please bring me along. 

Happy December

There were days when i don't even want to listen to some songs, when i don't want to walk on certain roads, when i don't want to see some people, when i don't want to talk about some matters in my life. But now, i feel so much freedom inside. Sometimes we just have to go through the process, soaked ourselves in tears and drawn away with the pain. It is a long process, but with a strong heart you will survive! You just have to face the pain, feel the sorrowful moment and slowly raise up. Because after everything it will be better, that broken soul will heal, becoming a new one, strong enough. Bear in mind not to lose your faith along the way.

Don't take the easy way out because it only gives a temporary happiness. The pain may surface again one day. Sometimes, it is not the outer part that matter. It is the inside, the soul, it does need some time away, some rest.

Don't settle when your heart is not ready enough. There is a BIG difference between 'mending someone who's broken and finding someone who makes you complete'.

Happy December people :D

The babysitter

I'm spending some of my holidays on babysitting the newborn baby to the big family. Adorable little Arthur. Little Arthur was safely born on the 8th of November with healthy condition and weighed 3.7 kg.

I have been staying with my aunt and the baby at their house since last week. My uncle is away for outstation work. There is not so much work to be done actually here as i do still have time to take my afternoon nap, entertaining myself with movies or having a story time with my aunt after all the works are done. Usually, i will wake up around 6 am and do all the cooking (rice, anty's breakfast, hot water for the baby and mother bathing). Then, will do some house chores to keep the house neat and clean. Around 8 am i will do the 'bathing' for the baby. At first, this was the most difficult tasks to do. It is not easy to give a baby bath for a newborn especially those who are still in days-old age. On the first few tries, the baby was crying non-stop-able which made me panic and rushing to get the bathing done as soon as possible. But after some advices given along the way, i am able to do it gracefully and lil arthur seems to enjoy the bath time! After the bath time, i will wash the clothes and dry it up. When everything is finished i will take my bath and my morning breakfast or sometimes my brunch. At 11am i will cook my aunt's meal, 'sup lihing'. Yes, i did learn how to cook it and now i am able to prepare a delicious soup! Yayy! While my aunt is taking her meal, it is my time to look after the baby and entertain him. When my aunt is done, i will do the cleaning and take a rest until 4 pm. Then do the cooking again. It is the same cycle of tasks just like the morning part except for the dried clothes, need to take and fold it. Around 7 pm, everything should be done. Then, it is time for my bath and dinner if i am hungry enough to eat. Around 8 pm i will be watching television or sitting/lying comfortably on the bed. Sometimes when my aunt seems to be tired i will help her to look after lil arthur because it is not easy for her to go around as she is still in the 'pantang' mode. That is my life as a babysitter and i'm enjoying every moment of it.

I've learnt lots from it and gaining lots of wonderful tips from my aunt on how to be a good wife and loving mother. Maybe because she is my Godmother and that is why we have this close connection and able to share on almost everthing. We did share lots of stories and even about the 'past love story'! Omo! ~ emo session with my aunt! But still it was funny to talk about it. She did also mention on how to find a potential husband and even suggesting some names from my friend lists after looking through my photo albums with some question tagged along the way. So funny! As if i am going to be married soon but that will be long way to go aunty.

All in all, it is really great spending my days here. Lots of new priceless knowledge learnt and valuable experiences gained! As if im attending a course on taking care a newborn and it is a free one! It is also a great oppurtunity for me to enhance my house-wife-to-be skill!

So today will be my second week to babysit and it makes my love towards baby grows stronger than ever! Hopefully everything goes well :)

OMO !

Okay, this is so funny! I had just rummaged all my old stuffs which i had kept since high school days. 

Then i found a white envelope entitled 'all the novels'. O dear, i was really a so-loyal-malay-novel-writer back then. I had written few versions of stories where some of the characters are really familiar to my real life. They featured some of the people in my life which makes me to keep these collections for my own reading only! But nothing to worry, they are created based on my imagination and fully original ! It was really funny! Omo ! How could i be so creative and dramatic back then !

Another thing was that i found bunch of books where all the messages, received calls, missed calls and even the dialled ones were written down or maybe the better term is 'recorded down'. Omo ! That was extremely funny ! Everything was recorded, like every single detail. I just can't imagine how i had been so hardworking back then to write everything down. It was all from 2006 - may 2009. So those who had contacted me back then should know that i had all your names written down. Actually i was not even aware what is the purpose of that, but maybe because my 'inbox' was not able to keep all the messages so i had decided to write it down. Now, i am able to recall back some of the people whom i used to be so closed too. But it was really nice, a good feeling indeed to read them back. It is like reminiscing all the sweet and sour memories.

Everything that was written was like a chapter of memories. There were some messages about us trying to sort out things during the taking of PMR & SPM results. Then after that result taking, we texted each other about who got what with some congratulating wishes tagged along. That was really awesome! Then, some texts were about working things out on meeting each other for outings. Some were on heart-to-heart stories. Some were good morning and night wishes !

It also made me to recall back one of the panic moments back to the end of December 2008. I was on the way back from the carolling which ended around 12am and it was really scared to stay alone in a car with the unknown driver, travelling along the almost lonely road. So i texted and called few of my friends. Can't believe i was crying that time and cva was on the phone to comfort me along the way. Yes, i was really really scared ! Luckily nothing bad happened and i arrived home safely with some scolded-worrying advices from some friends. I still kept all the messages ! I am really thankful for those hearts who pray and comfort me. It was one of the most unforgettable moments.

I think sending wishes through messaging was really favoured back then. Birthday, New Year, Christmas, Eid Day and even Exam wishes were never forgotten. Reading back everything also makes me to recall how we used to appreciate the 1 cent texting which was from 12am-6am which was for celcom users only. So we were very active messaging everyone at these hours during the holiday of course as handphone was not permitted in the school. 

Now, i have retired from all the writing stuffs unless the importance ones. But i still have this habit of keeping messages in my phone and the oldest text was from Iga (10:54pm, 12 April 2009) followed by some of the chosen ones, especially those that are motivating as well as wishes for birthday and celebrations. I know that it was really 'traditional' me back then. I love to keep all the records. Maybe it is nothing for some, but me it helps me to remember moments. I even have two boxes of gifts, cards and those associated to memories.  Yeah, we won't live forever, but somewhere along the lines of breathing, those things will help you to remember moments!

P.S. And also now, i know whose hearts i had crush on back then and the other way around! OMO!

Updates

I have just recovered from a terrible-headache-diarrhoea sickness which for the first time ever, i skipped a class ! i really can't afford to even stand for minutes. I was forcing myself to walk in and out of the toilet. Even during the dance practice i felt like collapsing on the floor. It was damn-ly tiring and headache-ing. I wish i could just faint anywhere. The worse things were the food was tasteless, i had a sore throat and I just don't feel like going to clinic.

Luckily the sickness does not last forever. Thanks roomate for the panadol and cool fever! not to forget my friends around for your concerns, Kamsahamida! I am gaining my energy back, all the food become tasty again, no more spending so much time in the toilet and i am able to dance gracefully on the stage :D

Can't wait for the show! Two more days. I hope everything will go smoothly and please be healthy dear may! 

Reminiscing the memory of musical night in 2009. We were the newbies back then. Yayy ! Such a wonderful memory to join the dancing troupe in IPBL :D

Here i am now, counting days for..

musical night 2012

exam to end ~ jiayoouuu !

&

flight to go back home! I miss I miss I miss my home !

I have long lists for things to do and places to go for my holidays this time.

FUNNY thing happened today ~ I was sitting comfortably on my chair this evening and suddenly i felt my hand was thinner than before, like i was touching a thin skin and i can feel the BONE part ! and suddenly i just had this automatic movement to cafeteria. I rushed to the counter, ordered my food and had it eaten as soon as possible ~ i feel that i am becoming thinner than before. Is it because of the sickness or did i loss my memory on eating my dinner. O dear, i want to lose weight but feel scare if in no time i become like a skeleton walking around ! ~ okay i know this is not funny at all.

But really, i need to congratulate myself for taking my dinner today. yaayy! 

Till then.