a MUST

I miss those time when I just have to lie down comfortably with nothing to worry, when I just have to sit and let my mind articulates the words written on every page of my favourite novel, when I just let my eyes wonder around and enjoy every scenery around, when I just have to breath in and out. It is not that I am not going to have those moments like forever, but it is just not now. Sometimes, I was rushing on things, my mind can't just stop admiring those piles of loads, dashing here and there, indulging into so much works that in between I lost myself. But that is how reality goes. This is just a phase in life, maybe on the next phase I might get drawn into everything. Yeah, I should comfort my thought that life is a sweet rose and I have to enjoy everything in between. Yet, I should not do so if it is not really so. That sometimes it is okay to see everything is breaking and none is making sense. But to be grateful and appreciative in the midst of chaos, though that may sound totally challenging and impossible to do, is a MUST. Dear heart, let us survive this. One day, we'll be the unbreakable one.

Feel like a poet

Time seems to flow so fast in this practicum season. Days could be like repetitive chores. Sometimes it goes so well that my heart is full of joy. But there are times when I just feel like hiding under the pillow forever. The mental struggles get tough every day. Trying my best to cope in all the situations, stop where I should, hold on if I have to. 

Reminding myself that this is a crucial stage, not to give my heart up at all though the bullets just seem not to stop showering down. It is the final sprint for most of us but that does not mean that the finishing line is the only sole target. But in between, treasure the moments with those people who are running with you and those audiences who are cheering for you. It is amazing how little situation in life, depict the real scenario in life. Running does not exist physically during the sport day but emotionally and mentally in life's sprint. I hope everyone is doing great in all the things they are pursuing into. 

At time, when the heart feels like giving up and losing hope, remind the soul to take one step back and rest a little. Build the energy and courage to step forward again. Life is not a running track but a beautiful path to be enjoyed and savoured, that in each little step there are moments to be remembered,  there are memories that are to be treasured for a lifetime.

*The day when I feel like a poet and decide to look life in a figurative side. 

LIFE: 'Subjective'

For all the things that happened or are happening, I have grown so much and I believe everyone does too.

Through the days, months and years, I come to learn that LIFE is SUBJECTIVE. That everyone has their own definitions and versions of it. We might discover the same things and facts in life but the degree of what kind of judgement we put into it are vaguely big, HUGE! 

And the clinche-ly quote always goes 'Don't judge, don't judge, and don't judge!' but the real fact is that people judge all the time, ALL THE TIME! 

For me that is okay! and I would be happy enough knowing that everyone is judging even though sometime it hurts. Why so? Because we couldn't run from not judging others. Why do we learn all and memorize all the Mathematics formula once upon a time: it is no other reason than to make your brain keep on calculating, thinking, analyzing, making the wise decision and be more critical! Which in short: use your brain productively! Just because we learn all the formulas, that doesn't mean that we need to encounter them literally on daily basis, but the implicit skills learnt through the process are the ones should be highlighted. 

I am not practising favouritism of proving everyone how useful the subject is just because I am a number lover. The underlying things that I would like to surface is the reason why people keep on judging and it is okay to do so. 

At some points, we might not realise that actually people do judge but the judgement made met with the expectation that we goal for, and in turn it becomes a compliment for us, a reasonable justification. 

But when it is the negative outcomes, the war starts! All in all, it always depends on an individual how he deals with the situations. Because everything that comes out is a great lesson if we look into it positively. At some points, we have to dare to stand no matter what are against us. Learn to step out from the comfort zone, trust your own opinions and be brave enough to walk on the road not taken. 

For all the things that happened along the way, which some make my faith shakeable, I am still feel grateful because it leads to where I am now, the ultimate blessed state and it is a testimony of how great God's love is.

P/S In case people are judging you next time, let them do it. As life is SUBJECTIVE, you define your own stance! ;)

Quotes

They said, time is a healer. Reading is a healer too. Through words, we gained wonderful insights. I love reading and my preferable ones will be on novels and simple quotes. It touches, inspires and blooms the inner part of me.

God sometimes uses trouble to open your eyes, to make you aware of His voice, to make you sensitive to your surroundings. It's a wake up call, a nudge in the right direction. Don't allow the enemy to implant bitter thoughts in your mind that will only make you steer away from the Lord; thoughts that will only make you question His motives. Pray for discernment and revelation in this confusing time. Trust and seek the Lover of your soul. 

Thanking the Lord once you've received what you wanted for so long is easy but thanking Him though pain and tears is challenging. However, it's during the painful process that you witness His loving comfort. It's through the sorrow that you experience His peaceful presence. It's in these times that you appreciate His closeness. Don't think of this season as God being distant or indifferent, He's 

right beside you waiting for you to call on Him... thank Him and believe He will make things better. Don't waste this time on negative thoughts or trying to figure things out on your own, start enjoying the intimacy He desires to share with you.   

Ten years from now the troubles you face today will seem like a blip on the radar of life. The Lord will make sure that what drowns you today will be what you walk on tomorrow. He uses the good and bad experiences to edify and strengthen you. Nothing in your life goes to waste it's all valuable clay in the potters hands. Don't lose faith things will get better. Trust in God's promises.

Source: Spiritually Single

Random Sayings

She wished all her memories were of the good times but the bad times kept coming back to haunt her.

There were happy days, when she would walk around in a daydream with nothing but a smile on her face, catching herself giggling as she walked down the street when a joke of theirs would suddenly pop into her head. Then she would fall into days of deep dark depression; then finally build up the strength to be positive and to snap out of it for few days.

It was a tiring process and most of the time she couldn't be bothered battling with her mind.

Friends and family came and went; sometimes helping her with the tears, other time making her laugh . But even in her laughter there was something missing.

It was time to stop hiding in the dark and to hold your head up high and come face to face with the truth.

'You don't have to put on a brave face all the time, you know'

Whatever lay ahead, she knew she would open her heart and follow where it led. 

In the meantime, she would just live.

'P.S. I Love You' by Cecelia Ahern