My Prayer

"Father, I said till
Death do us part
I want to mean it
With all of my heart
Help me to love you
More than I love him
Then I know I can
Love him more
Than anyone else

And bring him in
Your presence today
Make him what
You want him to be

This is my prayer Amen"

The Art of Therapeutic

I had never realised that the therapy session could be a powerful medium of expression. For the last two days, we had been experiencing different types of therapy and even soaked into tears. The first session conducted was the Art Therapy. I did not intend to draw and colour things up to highlight some  of the events in my life. However, it was done unconsciously. There are lots of underlying messages behind the drawing even on the slight details. Though the interpretations could be a subjective one, but they are all closely related to my life. For the next four therapies, they were centred around different themes but related to each other: self, family and friends. They were not just conducted for us to understand the whole process, as the skills are useful in the teaching world, but also give us opportunity to express our inner feelings and emotions. It touches down to our souls.  

The sessions held also triggered us to do something that we seldom do especially in expressing love towards the people close to us. For sure, love could be express in different ways. But sometimes, it needs a kind of affirmation. It is easy to say 'I love you' to the person we love or our friends, but it will be awkward to say so with our parents especially when it is never practised at all in the family itself. I took the opportunity to do so, and it was kind of funny that my mother started to ask lots of questions, to ensure that I am okay or not. Don't worry mum, your daughter is super fine! ;)

19 January

As I don't have any exact topic to focus on, lets just hope '19 January' gets enough vibe to capture the readers' heart ;)

Long list of tasks to be completed for the final, but the enthusiasm level is inconsistent in nature! Okay, I've just realised that I've been a loyal essay writer these days and even submitted some to others. OMO. So for this time, just a brief shout out: I'm having my final teaching practice in one week time! Three months all together. Two supportive and encouraging lecturers plus two mentors from the school will observe me for this phase. One of the lecturers will be supervising my Action Research progress. I hope the consultancy process will be a smooth one and  promise to embrace the learning process! Tons of opportunities for learning are lying on the ground too, I shall take a brave step to at least go for one of them.  

Currently, I'm so into a Korean variety show, Appa Odiga, but still I am a loyal fan to Running Man! Maybe I have this strong chemistry of seeing those kids, innocent, pure and adorable! Will write some reviews on that show soon. By the way, my favourite is Yoon Hoo and his father, Min Soo! If I am to write why, then it will take an essay, thus I shall stop then on that part.

Starting the year with one big mission: trying my best to get a healthier lifestyle. Drink at least 2 litre of water each day. Jog at least 3 times a week. Sleep at least 6 hours per night. Less sugar, no Maggie (new resolution!), fruity and vege diet. Be more productive. Okay, too many on the list, but if one really wants something it is not wrong to put efforts on it, working at his/her own pace. Let see where the efforts will bring me!

I'm thinking of getting my hair cut to shoulder length, as I don't have any version of that hair in my college life. Who knows, it will be an eye candy vibe to everyone, just like Ji Hyo. Plus, it will save more time on getting ready for the class. I need to get my heart decisive to have a go on it!

Be strong, be bold

2013, it is a year when I started to do lots of reflections on my own, and with others. Talked with friends how the life transits, how the future gonna be, how a new circle of network is formed, how certain occurrence affects the way we perceive things, how memories from the past burst out laughters or shed  tears. Met new people and made friends. Stepped on foreign land and learn the cultures there. Know how the life transits in other places. Get into nerve-wreaking situations. Almost drawn myself. Thought of giving up when failures knock me down. Challenge myself to do things that I never try. Sat beside strangers and commenced random conversation. Made up tough decisions. Found the mate of my soul. Survived the miles.  And in everything, contemplating on lots of things.

One thing that might highlight the year is the reflection on human relationship. It is not a core subject learnt, but a major taught by Life. Sometimes, relationship gets so complicated. I couldn't understand it either even until now. Rejection and acceptance. Everyone has their on way of perceiving things, that what one said may be interpreted differently by others. To mouth out something is not to proclaim how 'right' one is and I didn't wish for everyone to follow my lead too. Any relationship, there are always challenges that come through it. It depends on each individual how to walk through it. And this major, it will take me a lifetime to understand it as I will meet more people and blend into new circumstances ahead.

Sometimes I'm wandering, what is it really to live a life? To be educated, to be famous, to get the top of everything, to travel everywhere, to make more friends, to sit and observe others, to establish in career, to start a family, to challenge self,  to eat, to attend events and the lists go on. Is it really necessary for one to be fully accepted by everyone, to change self just to fit in with others. Is it right to agree upon everything we hear, see and  read. Something that I couldn't understand either. It thirsts my soul to constantly seeking for the answer by seeing others, going places, witness events.

2014, I will learn to be bold; not afraid of taking risk and making decision. Learning that not everyone will put up hand for you and that is okay. Knowing that some hearts may get annoy just because you do things differently. Understanding that there might be unexpected things bloomed no matter how wise the decision made. Keeping self low, no matter where the grounds will be. Ready to always learn from others, because there are times that you will feel rejections and have to put on that sour face. And that is okay to portray such emotion as that is normal in human nature. Bearing in mind that there will always others who will judge the way you bring yourself and just let them be, because I hold no power to stop them, but to control the way I react and look into it positively. Though to be positive is just so difficult when everything seems to pull you down. But that is part of the learning process.

I guess this year will be lots of mental struggle, not just on the workloads but the relationship with others, the situations faced and the circumstances around. No matter what, dear heart be strong, be bold.

New term with new terms

Attending lectures for just few sessions in these few days bombed me with lots of new terms. Last time, we use to just do thing with the structure given, looking for information, trying to rephrasing in the most simplest manner, and presenting those idea for everyone to digest. But in this new term, you gotta use the mind productively. Deep thinking, deep research. Loading more input for your world, eyes, experiences. Taking into consideration of so many viewpoints, making justifications to which extend to agree and disagree. Weighing things out, digesting and absorbing all the abstract assumptions. Learning that there is no right or wrong ones, just how logic or creative you are in putting things together. Honestly, it was a kind of 'shock' to the mind. 

Though it feels like burdening the thought with so much new terms, but still I'm falling in deep love for the subjects. Very interesting, eye opening, insightful and of course inspiring for the heart and soul. After all those years, I am here, interpreting and analysing words NOT numbers. Dealing with language was one of the hardest things that my mind had once experienced, but now I am slowly adapting to it. Which make sense of the the notion that was exposed today: we couldn't be focussing on building up the strengths only, but also to look into what is deficient and find ways to improve it. Trying to strike balance in everything. Not intend to be a perfect one, but to learn, grow, develop as much as we could in every aspect. That could be one of the strong justifications of why I am walking down the path. 

With this new term, I hope I could get myself blend with the new terms too! 

2014 updates!

Hi!

So here I am again, doodling and rambling on things. I am back to IPG and you gotta believe it that this is my  final year! Finally, after all the sweats and inks poured, I am here standing as a final year student! 

Again, I haven't been writing so much about the holiday, the must tell Christmas story, the New Year celebration and of course the resolutions! As everyone ages up, the way they look, perceive and idealise on things change from time to time. That once, wishing everyone on a festive day through text message is a norm, but in the era of Facebook, tagging will spread the wish much more easier. The same go to other things. The way of how we carry things out will be different from year to year, and it is okay to be that. Won't it be good for everyone to change for the better version of themselves? In short, I just want this year to be a productive one, giving the best in everything that I am venturing into, and discover as much as I can even if the road is paved in such that it brings the heart pounding feeling of riding on the coaster. 

I have change the URL of my blog, which is now officially become - frecyllamay.blogspot.com., the title to 'Blessings in my Life' and the most obvious is my header photo. 10 pictures of my edited-own-self that depict the life I am in, though they are not able to precisely describe every single detail about me, but it gives you some idea on who I am. Again, my smiles, those symbolise the virtual greetings for you from me! Every change is to get the site more into personal look of me. This year, I promise to blog more!

Talking about this semester, we only have two subjects and 3 months of standing in front of 30-40 pairs of eyes moments. One of the subjects will be on Action Research, major paper. Honestly, I am curious and scared at the same time of imagining how would the sail be. I hope I could get the right direction of which way to head. Only two subjects? Yup, I have ample of time to have fun, being lazy and a loyal sleepy head! Still, I will force myself to be a productive soul. 

In 3 weeks time will be my third teaching practice, 3 months! This time, I hope that I could elicit and deliver as much as I could. Even though still standing at the inexperience level, but I will try my best to build great rapport with the kids as well as providing opportunities for them discover their own potentials and at the same time trigger their self-learning and self-discovering sides. I know that sounds so much of ambitious, heavy and what the what? Pointing this out is not just merely constructed sentence or disseminating some kind of educational philosophies. But something that come from inside, to realise that the joy of teaching do not come from the grade you get from the mentors, or the praises of how well you did in front of the class but the small little matters that come from the pupils. The joy that they experience from learning, the happiness portray when they are able to do something, the smiles of getting their efforts praised and so on. For this phase, I will give myself as much chance to learn and discover the 'pearl' of teaching too.

In 2014, I get to read and know that most of us want something new, something better and something great for our life. More happiness, lively life, great health, success, wealth and the lists go on. In my own age group, some have started to settle down with career. I love knowing about their stories of working life and actually couldn't wait from my turn too! I believe that everyone has special part and role in building the nation. No matter which profession you are, you could make a difference, carry impact and get people inspired!

Again, before the speech ends, I am not in favour for the road to be easy or sweet all the times. Let it be a challenging one, for I know that He is always in control of things, through the uncertainty and unpredictable journey. It is not just to feel thankful and blessed for the good times but to have faith that during the tough time, He wants us there for purposes and reasons. 

Lastly, I hope and wish everyone to have another great year!