Happy Birthday Grandma!

Today, 30.11.2012, marks the 67 years of my grandmother's age. 

I still remember during my childhood days, we used to spend our school holiday staying with her at the village. It was really great living on the countryside with magnificent view of the gigantic Mount Kinabalu. Staying with my grandmother there was really an eye opening for me to learn the wonderful lifestyles and cultures of people there. 

Back then, my grandma used to bring us to the paddy field situated on the hill. We will be there early in the morning until the sun almost set. That was when i learn the complete process of harvesting the paddy. 

When there were feasts held around the village, we will always grab the opportunity to be there and only be back late at night with my drunk grandma and the fire. I mean a real fire as it is more favoured than torchlight. That was when i learnt the taste of the tasty 'tapai'. 

Before sleep, my grandmother will tell us some stories while we were lying down on the mattress ~ yes my grandma don't favour a bed even until now. I still remember one of it was on dying and becoming ghost who will go around and hunt bad people and bring them into the grave ~ the story was something like that. Listening to it did make me to secretly tearing under the blanket, not because of the scary ghost but because of the fact of life of losing people around when death approached them.

It is funny when my grandma unfold some marked moments of us when we were still little ones. Each of us has our own story, i mean the siblings. Every time the telling goes we will laugh a lot. Mine was on that day when i locked myself in the house while my grandma was doing work outside. She was panic knowing about it as there was no one else in the house and i was so little to grasp the concept of unlocking the door. So she asked one of the villagers to climb over the window to go inside the house. Luckily, the door unlocked. 

Now, my grandma is no longer staying in the village as all of her children are working in town. Because of the worrying condition and few time admittance to the hospital, her children decided to bring her here, in town. She is staying in our previous house which is near to one of my aunts' house and seems to enjoy the stay even though sometimes her face portrays the longing-ness of the village environment. But yes, we still pay a visit there at least once a year and i can't wait to be there again for this year, hopefully, Christmas mass :)

There were just so many countless stories of my grandmother life. So many memories cherished and i am looking forward to look for more with her. Even though, she did scold us sometimes but deep down in her heart she is a soft and lovely grandmother, a great one indeed. 

She is the only grandparent i have now, literally. Both grandparents on my father side had passed away few years ago. Yes, i still have my grandfather on my mother side but now he is living with a 'new' family. I am not really sure how the story goes, but it might surely leave great impacts to my grandmother's heart. Despite of everything, she is able to solely raise her seven children. She is a strong and determine woman! My grandma is an active woman and capable of doing lots of things such as sewing, knitting, cooking, gardening, and even fishing!

On this lovely day, i would love to wish her happy birthday and thank you for everything grandma. So sorry for our undesirable behaviour. May God  shower you with abundant blessings, happiness, and good health. 

Lots of love, may :)

The babysitter

I'm spending some of my holidays on babysitting the newborn baby to the big family. Adorable little Arthur. Little Arthur was safely born on the 8th of November with healthy condition and weighed 3.7 kg.

I have been staying with my aunt and the baby at their house since last week. My uncle is away for outstation work. There is not so much work to be done actually here as i do still have time to take my afternoon nap, entertaining myself with movies or having a story time with my aunt after all the works are done. Usually, i will wake up around 6 am and do all the cooking (rice, anty's breakfast, hot water for the baby and mother bathing). Then, will do some house chores to keep the house neat and clean. Around 8 am i will do the 'bathing' for the baby. At first, this was the most difficult tasks to do. It is not easy to give a baby bath for a newborn especially those who are still in days-old age. On the first few tries, the baby was crying non-stop-able which made me panic and rushing to get the bathing done as soon as possible. But after some advices given along the way, i am able to do it gracefully and lil arthur seems to enjoy the bath time! After the bath time, i will wash the clothes and dry it up. When everything is finished i will take my bath and my morning breakfast or sometimes my brunch. At 11am i will cook my aunt's meal, 'sup lihing'. Yes, i did learn how to cook it and now i am able to prepare a delicious soup! Yayy! While my aunt is taking her meal, it is my time to look after the baby and entertain him. When my aunt is done, i will do the cleaning and take a rest until 4 pm. Then do the cooking again. It is the same cycle of tasks just like the morning part except for the dried clothes, need to take and fold it. Around 7 pm, everything should be done. Then, it is time for my bath and dinner if i am hungry enough to eat. Around 8 pm i will be watching television or sitting/lying comfortably on the bed. Sometimes when my aunt seems to be tired i will help her to look after lil arthur because it is not easy for her to go around as she is still in the 'pantang' mode. That is my life as a babysitter and i'm enjoying every moment of it.

I've learnt lots from it and gaining lots of wonderful tips from my aunt on how to be a good wife and loving mother. Maybe because she is my Godmother and that is why we have this close connection and able to share on almost everthing. We did share lots of stories and even about the 'past love story'! Omo! ~ emo session with my aunt! But still it was funny to talk about it. She did also mention on how to find a potential husband and even suggesting some names from my friend lists after looking through my photo albums with some question tagged along the way. So funny! As if i am going to be married soon but that will be long way to go aunty.

All in all, it is really great spending my days here. Lots of new priceless knowledge learnt and valuable experiences gained! As if im attending a course on taking care a newborn and it is a free one! It is also a great oppurtunity for me to enhance my house-wife-to-be skill!

So today will be my second week to babysit and it makes my love towards baby grows stronger than ever! Hopefully everything goes well :)

Viber with Allyn

We had just spent more than an hour viber-ing each other. Oh my, i really miss the story time we used to have. Recalling back all the sweet memories in high school as well as updating each other on things that are going on in our life. We laughed so loud just like the old times! Dear Rossa Allyn, do take a good care of yourself there. Miss you so much! Will viber you again some other days!

21.11.12

someone you Miss but can't tell the name to the world. #someone#close#friend#him
p.s. my first mobile blog post.

OMO !

Okay, this is so funny! I had just rummaged all my old stuffs which i had kept since high school days. 

Then i found a white envelope entitled 'all the novels'. O dear, i was really a so-loyal-malay-novel-writer back then. I had written few versions of stories where some of the characters are really familiar to my real life. They featured some of the people in my life which makes me to keep these collections for my own reading only! But nothing to worry, they are created based on my imagination and fully original ! It was really funny! Omo ! How could i be so creative and dramatic back then !

Another thing was that i found bunch of books where all the messages, received calls, missed calls and even the dialled ones were written down or maybe the better term is 'recorded down'. Omo ! That was extremely funny ! Everything was recorded, like every single detail. I just can't imagine how i had been so hardworking back then to write everything down. It was all from 2006 - may 2009. So those who had contacted me back then should know that i had all your names written down. Actually i was not even aware what is the purpose of that, but maybe because my 'inbox' was not able to keep all the messages so i had decided to write it down. Now, i am able to recall back some of the people whom i used to be so closed too. But it was really nice, a good feeling indeed to read them back. It is like reminiscing all the sweet and sour memories.

Everything that was written was like a chapter of memories. There were some messages about us trying to sort out things during the taking of PMR & SPM results. Then after that result taking, we texted each other about who got what with some congratulating wishes tagged along. That was really awesome! Then, some texts were about working things out on meeting each other for outings. Some were on heart-to-heart stories. Some were good morning and night wishes !

It also made me to recall back one of the panic moments back to the end of December 2008. I was on the way back from the carolling which ended around 12am and it was really scared to stay alone in a car with the unknown driver, travelling along the almost lonely road. So i texted and called few of my friends. Can't believe i was crying that time and cva was on the phone to comfort me along the way. Yes, i was really really scared ! Luckily nothing bad happened and i arrived home safely with some scolded-worrying advices from some friends. I still kept all the messages ! I am really thankful for those hearts who pray and comfort me. It was one of the most unforgettable moments.

I think sending wishes through messaging was really favoured back then. Birthday, New Year, Christmas, Eid Day and even Exam wishes were never forgotten. Reading back everything also makes me to recall how we used to appreciate the 1 cent texting which was from 12am-6am which was for celcom users only. So we were very active messaging everyone at these hours during the holiday of course as handphone was not permitted in the school. 

Now, i have retired from all the writing stuffs unless the importance ones. But i still have this habit of keeping messages in my phone and the oldest text was from Iga (10:54pm, 12 April 2009) followed by some of the chosen ones, especially those that are motivating as well as wishes for birthday and celebrations. I know that it was really 'traditional' me back then. I love to keep all the records. Maybe it is nothing for some, but me it helps me to remember moments. I even have two boxes of gifts, cards and those associated to memories.  Yeah, we won't live forever, but somewhere along the lines of breathing, those things will help you to remember moments!

P.S. And also now, i know whose hearts i had crush on back then and the other way around! OMO!

A reflection

It is not easy to cover up for others, especially those who caused so much pain to your soul. Not easy at all. 

Sometimes, people are talking about you at the back and it is not easy to still held up your head and pretend like nothing happened. Sometimes, people purposely push you towards the edge and it is not easy at all to stand still even though you know that at any minute, you will fall. Sometimes, people are planning something bad towards you, knowing about it and pretend like nothing is just like having your brain and purposely not digesting the fact. Sometimes people took away your things and never returned it back and it is not easy at all to comfort your heart and tell just to let it go. Sometimes people get credits for your work and it is not easy at all to just keep it down when you have to do the extra work without publishing how much destructive it had caused to yourself. It is just not easy at all to just walk away without pushing a charge to those who hurt and tear yourself down. And it is not easy at all to walk away without blaming others for causing you so much pain. even though that pain is meant for something good or for a purpose. Sometimes things are just so hard, so difficult and all you need to do is just to hold on, keep it silently down inside your heart. 

But at some points, without realizing it, we survived the battle!

It is just NOT in my nature to openly blame others, or hold any grudge or finger points others for the mistakes they caused. It is just not so me to use any remark to label others' actions. I rather held the white flag, not because to show the sign of weakness but that is what i believe the most. I don't like fighting, arguing or blaming. Yes, many things happened throughout this year. Most of the time i choose to keep things low. But somehow, after all, i just feel so burden-less inside. 

Thank you God for taking away the 'pain'. Lord, i pray for you to heal the broken relationship, the broken hearts and the broken souls. May all of us start freshly in Your grace and love. Amen :)

This just as a reflection with no intention to create any hard feeling between any soul.

Humble

I went back from church last night and had this so powerful feeling inside. I feel like thanking all the people around me. Somehow and somewhere everyone plays significant parts in making who i am today. They are the anonymous saints sent to me everyday. Happiness, sorrowful, joyful, frustrated and whatever feelings that were impacted to me helps to build my thoughts, values and faith. In between everything, i learn the power of humility in life. 

'The greatest miracles are the unspectacular ones; the greatest saints, probably, are the anonymous ones. "Should you ask me: what is the first thing in religion?" wrote St. Augustine, "I would reply: the first, second and third thing therein is humility." What about love? Isn't that first? Without humility love is not possible: there may be some activity of the ego disguised as love, but there is no love. Humility is the altar for which God receives sacrifices, said someone else. We thank God this day for all the anonymous saints of all time.' 

Thank you everyone for being a good friend. Peace be with you. God bless.

Happy All Souls Day

May all souls rest in peace.