19 January

As I don't have any exact topic to focus on, lets just hope '19 January' gets enough vibe to capture the readers' heart ;)

Long list of tasks to be completed for the final, but the enthusiasm level is inconsistent in nature! Okay, I've just realised that I've been a loyal essay writer these days and even submitted some to others. OMO. So for this time, just a brief shout out: I'm having my final teaching practice in one week time! Three months all together. Two supportive and encouraging lecturers plus two mentors from the school will observe me for this phase. One of the lecturers will be supervising my Action Research progress. I hope the consultancy process will be a smooth one and  promise to embrace the learning process! Tons of opportunities for learning are lying on the ground too, I shall take a brave step to at least go for one of them.  

Currently, I'm so into a Korean variety show, Appa Odiga, but still I am a loyal fan to Running Man! Maybe I have this strong chemistry of seeing those kids, innocent, pure and adorable! Will write some reviews on that show soon. By the way, my favourite is Yoon Hoo and his father, Min Soo! If I am to write why, then it will take an essay, thus I shall stop then on that part.

Starting the year with one big mission: trying my best to get a healthier lifestyle. Drink at least 2 litre of water each day. Jog at least 3 times a week. Sleep at least 6 hours per night. Less sugar, no Maggie (new resolution!), fruity and vege diet. Be more productive. Okay, too many on the list, but if one really wants something it is not wrong to put efforts on it, working at his/her own pace. Let see where the efforts will bring me!

I'm thinking of getting my hair cut to shoulder length, as I don't have any version of that hair in my college life. Who knows, it will be an eye candy vibe to everyone, just like Ji Hyo. Plus, it will save more time on getting ready for the class. I need to get my heart decisive to have a go on it!

Happy Father's Day, my king!

Every father has their own life story; how they preserve just to provide meals, shelter and education to the family. This makes each of them special in their own way. 

Back then, the most fresh memories that I had with my father during my childhood time were when we were sitting on the bench and my father dropped the eye-liquid in my eyes and the day when we were standing outside the video shop to borrow our favourite childhood movie! Through years, many more memories created! 

My father has always been humble in his own way and that is the thing I love the most about him. He is a man with less words and full of patient. He prefers to stay home but if there are events held, he always makes his time for it. He loves singing too and will always grab the mike to sing in events! Through life, he has always be the best role model for me, seeing how he handle things out around the house. Being handy and sometime randomly cracking jokes around make his personality lovable! He, as a person, always inspire my life and I am proud to have him as my dad! We may not showing our love through saying 'I love you' or hugging each other, but love is portrayed through actions and all the time spent together! He has been a great father, a lovable husband, a committed officer, a wonderful friend and he will always be one! 

Thank you so much father for everything. May God's blessings be upon you always!

And if you are wandering who is the best man in my life, here he is! 

Again, Happy Father's Day, my king!

The Breaks

I have so much to write, but so little mood to do so. But today, I MUST write!

Two weeks of holiday had passed with every little wonderful moment filling the gaps in between. 

What I love the most in this holiday is that I went to Ranau, which mean I did pass by Bundu Tuhan and Kundasang, breathtaking places! Though we were stuck like almost 4 hours on the way from Kundasang to Ranau, which it was supposed to be less than half an hour drive. Still, it was great to meet cousins and relatives from far. 

I met my childhood playmates too after almost 15 years! And one of them is married now and we met in her wedding reception. It did strike me a while when my grandma said that these day it is quite difficult for us to visit the relatives 'songgiro poh mongoi piruba, aiso no dii pagantakan' (okay, this is my own Dusun version). Indeed, the world is so busy nowadays, that sometimes we do not even have time to say hello to our own far away relatives or friends. So, if there are events held with holidays in between, we should always grab that opportunity to attend, meet and get to know relatives/friends.

My mother and I did also join the volunteers team for 'Sukan Sabah (SAGA) VI' under DBKK. Though at the very first place, I did not plan to join either because I just feel to be home and do nothing but it was too late to back off. Yet, it was a great experiences! I met lot of new people from various part of Sabah, with the different personalities and attitudes they exhibit. I did also make an attempt to serve the food just like the people in my Secondary school's dining hall, though that was not part of the job. I am sure that someday, I will be part of this big event again, not as a volunteer but perhaps from the school community. I might have to bring my own pupils to participate in one of those sport events. Apart from that, I did meet some old friends, see wonderful fireworks colouring the dark sky and experience live performances from the Sabahan's artists. Yes, it was tiring and I got to eat a lot! OMO!

The rest of my time was spent at home: doing cleaning up, arranging my wardrobe, watching movies, updating myself with FB's events, having Zumba session with my mother, playing around with little Amber, cooking for the whole family, reading books, singing karaoke with my little sister or alone!, having small celebration for my mother's birthday, driving aimlessly around the residential area or just sitting alone like a princess! I did go for outings too: hunting for books which I did get one for myself, meeting some friends, seeing the beauty pageants walking on  stage during the Giant's Kaamatan Day and the lists go on. Okay, I know I am writing every single things I did! O my me!

But yes, I love writing things out. That is part of way to record the memories and  the feelings. At least, one day when I read my old posts, that 'One day me' will say, 'Oh, I had been there before, wonderful!'. 

I have been doing so much of reflective thoughts too, I guess, after reading some thought provoking novels and watching inspiring movies: 

That sometimes, we are so busy growing up until we forget that our parents, grandparents and  everyone are growing old too. When we have the opportunity, do spend little time with them at least. Treasure the moments.

That some little things that could bring joy is forgotten. After going through tiring days, ourself needs a little break and there is nothing wrong just to sit down and  do nothing at one point of your life. Perhaps spend the time with the things you love the most, by yourself or with people you love. 

That in this world, we all have different ways of viewing things and we can't expect people to act they way we want. When people are showing their 'true' colour it is a good sign actually that we are knowing them more. Sometimes, we don't need to fit with them, but just accept them the way they are. 

That in every struggles, there is a purpose and great lessons tagged along. When life is turning its way around, it is not wrong to humbly ask for help from others.
That I am so thankful and blessed to have wonderful people around: family, friends and someone. It amazed me too how some things unfold beautifully at the right moment.

Again, it did hit me when there were days when i was so busy learning all the lesson in school that I have overlooked the little lesson that Life is teaching on me on each passed day. Even in the midst of business or brokenness, I know there is small little thing that makes life sweeter. I am blessed to be given the grace to understand Life, though it may take days, months or years to do so. From now on, I want to savour and treasure every single moment in life with everyone, even in a simple manner, and make them the best time in my life!

Blood Donation

31.01.13

It was my first time ever donating blood ! At first, i was so freaking nervous, as if i am going to deliver a baby any soon, which i could imagine how painful it was after listening to my aunt's story on giving birth. O my! But still, with all my heart, i went through it and surprisingly it turned out to be just fine.

So that is me with my donated blood and the lovely ladies! Big thanks to them and some friends whom have encouragingly supporting and calming me down. Kamsahamida!

My whole point to donate blood was actually to overcome the 'fear' in me, as it was a first time experience. Having a needle stuck on my skin was one of the biggest fears i ever had. Before the blood donation, one of my lectures came to us and told that the 'fear' feeling was just a perception that the mind made. All you have to do is to calm yourself down, and i was really trying my best. It was not just the fears that almost chase away my intention to donate blood but also the 'rumour' that was spread by some friends that blood donating could make a person gain weight. O my! But after surfing the internet i found that donating blood is one way to burn the calories in our body. Maybe because the insufficient energy that one experienced after the donation process cause him/her to tremendously increase the food intake. Could be that way.

After everything, well, it doesn't hurt that much actually and there is no obvious change in my weight either. So after this, I could go for another round of blood donation peacefully.

Interestingly, i also found that blood types could determine one's personality:

'TYPE A'
 Sensitive to the needs of others, good listeners, detail oriented, analytical, creative and inventive. Type As may seem calm on the outside, but inside, you’re filled with anxiety and worry. Tend to be cooperative, sensitive, clever, passionate and smart. Often bottling up anxiety in order to get along with others, they may hold in their emotions until they explode. 

'TYPE B'
Subjective, easygoing, creative, original and flexible. Type B's can be very goal-oriented and often complete the ambitious tasks set before them. Outgoing and very charming, you’re good at reading people and providing support. Impulsive individualists who often create their own path in life. You are very strong and optimistic. Blood type B individuals tend to be balanced: thoughtful like A's and yet ambitious like O's. They are empathetic, easily understanding others' points of view, yet often hesitating to challenge or confront. Chameleon-like and flexible, they make good friends.

'TYPE O'
Responsible, decisive, organized, objective, rule-conscious, and practical. Type O's are the social butterflies. Often popular and self-confident, you are very creative and always seem to be the center of attention. You make a good impression on people and you’re often quite attractive. Organized and determined, your stubbornness will help you reach your goals. You make good leaders.

'TYPE AB'
Type AB are intuitive and spiritual, with an ability to look beyond the rigid confines of society. ABs can be quite dualistic, possessing both A and B traits. You often stand out from others, don’t like labels, and are nice and easy going. You are logical and determined to do things correctly. Usually trustworthy, you like to help others. You often speak in a serious manner. Your patience, concentration, and intelligence are admirable. Tend to be very charming and popular. 

Source

Isn't this interesting? But it may not all true because of the diverse lifestyle, cultures and background in a society. Partially, it could be.  

Anyway, the Chinese New Year holidays is here! One week away from lectures, superb isn't it? Happy Chinese New Year for those who are celebrating. Can't wait for the CNY's open house trip! Yeee! 

Updates

I have just recovered from a terrible-headache-diarrhoea sickness which for the first time ever, i skipped a class ! i really can't afford to even stand for minutes. I was forcing myself to walk in and out of the toilet. Even during the dance practice i felt like collapsing on the floor. It was damn-ly tiring and headache-ing. I wish i could just faint anywhere. The worse things were the food was tasteless, i had a sore throat and I just don't feel like going to clinic.

Luckily the sickness does not last forever. Thanks roomate for the panadol and cool fever! not to forget my friends around for your concerns, Kamsahamida! I am gaining my energy back, all the food become tasty again, no more spending so much time in the toilet and i am able to dance gracefully on the stage :D

Can't wait for the show! Two more days. I hope everything will go smoothly and please be healthy dear may! 

Reminiscing the memory of musical night in 2009. We were the newbies back then. Yayy ! Such a wonderful memory to join the dancing troupe in IPBL :D

Here i am now, counting days for..

musical night 2012

exam to end ~ jiayoouuu !

&

flight to go back home! I miss I miss I miss my home !

I have long lists for things to do and places to go for my holidays this time.

FUNNY thing happened today ~ I was sitting comfortably on my chair this evening and suddenly i felt my hand was thinner than before, like i was touching a thin skin and i can feel the BONE part ! and suddenly i just had this automatic movement to cafeteria. I rushed to the counter, ordered my food and had it eaten as soon as possible ~ i feel that i am becoming thinner than before. Is it because of the sickness or did i loss my memory on eating my dinner. O dear, i want to lose weight but feel scare if in no time i become like a skeleton walking around ! ~ okay i know this is not funny at all.

But really, i need to congratulate myself for taking my dinner today. yaayy! 

Till then.

It gets better, and much better now

Talking to my mum yesterday makes me feel much better, a lot more better

Thank you mum.

It was a first time heart to heart talk with her,
I can feel the 'special bond' between a mother and daughter,

I cried as i was talking and i know my mum must be crying too from the other side,

I am so sorry for making you worry mum,
For always skipping my lunch and dinner,
and cramming my mind with lots of thoughts,
yes, i should look after myself first and stop thinking about it,
after all, i feel much better :)
yeah, mum knows the best for her children,
and will remember what she says,

for now on, just focus with study,
the future is more important,
don't let this thing stop you from moving forward,
everyone has been to the same place as you..
and they were some who even have to fight harder than you 
but today they are still able to smile

yes, i should not give up,
there are many more wonderful things to be happy for,
thank you mum,
i miss home,
but it's okay, less than 3 weeks i'll be home

Life’s to short to have regrets
So I’m learning now to leave it in the past
and try to forget
Only have one life to live
So you better make the best of it!

Thank you for everything Lord :)

The sweet 21

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

to myself !

okay, that awkward moment when you are singing birthday song for yourself! LOL!

How the day start?

Before the clock struck at 12 am, I had already received birthday wishes (yeah, Agnes was the first one! ). And after that, more wishes come which makes me happy happy and happy. Then, I woke up this morning at 6am something, thanking God for being alive for 21 years, took my shower, get ready, rode on uncle kim's van, reached the Camelite church ! yeee.. After the mass, we went to Saberkas, took our brunch together. Today, I was really blessed that I had my brunch in a small fellowship circle. Like everything was planned in the right timing. After that, we went for a short stroll around Seberkas and went back.

Reached the hostel and i took my sweet sleep. I woke up around 4pm then stalking people in FB. After that give some calls to my friends! good to hear from them

(Chiba will remember what you said :P, and wait for me to be LAGEN... wait for it... DERY !!).

Finished with the conversation, I went for my evening jog or it supposed to be stroll. the weather was so good to me! Then went back, took my sweet shower again and sit in front of my laptop until 12 am, 7 may 2012.

Anyway, i would like to say thank you to everyone for making the best day in my life. Thank you for the wishes, for being there always with me. Thank you to my lovely besties, olivias, for the cute hair band, love it so much! thank you for making my day everyone. Be blessed and happy always ! Don't stop smiling because smile can automatically make you happy !

I am blessed and thankful that i have received the greatest gift in my life for the 21 years of living. I have made up my mind for certain things in my life and will never regret it. So sorry for being emotional for the last few weeks, or should it be months already. I know things happen for a reason. I have to go through the moment of pains for me to be on the happy side. Thank you for bearing with me. Your understanding is greatly appreciated. Thank you. 

So now, my new 'azam' is to be happy and life live to the fullest (yes, it is kind of clinches saying those words). After all, i just feel so much 'free' inside. This is the life that He has given for me. Thank you Lord for the words and making me stronger than before.

I am now 21, independent single lady, happy and blessed with wonderful people around me :D

and one more important thing, i received a call from my another darling.. c ellye yg plg chubby!! hehe.. xba, ely plg kiut :) hehe tq ely sbb dgar crta sy yg plg emo n pnjg d dunia :P haha

Updates

One week holiday had passed!

I have had my 'rest' more than enough

Last Tuesday was a blast,

We had a CNY's open house marathon..6 houses in a day..

thank you so much to my lecturers and friends for the sweet times, delicious foods and great fellowship that we shared along the way.. i am so blessed to have them all :)

The allowance was out yesterday!

once again, we spent the whole day at spring...shopping and eating!

though we didn't have the chance to watch movie and Kbox -ing

but it's okay, another day will do

it was fun, hunting for clothes and accessories all around spring

and the food..yumyum pizza!!

everything makes me feel like i am a lively teen!

Lots of loves to my besties, mimi and faz, for making my day so much fun :D

Talking about money and allowance..

our lecturers have always remind us that 'we are paid to come to class'

that is obvious for sure!

there is no other institution that is paying their student for free..except the education institute.. those who study in 'teacher college' to be specific..

we don't have any semester's fee but are given a big sum of money which is no need to be paid back..except for the 'special case'

but the condition is only one;

we have to be a 'faithful' government servant for the rest of our life which comes together with an add-on title in front of our name after graduation - 'teacher'

so.. dear teacher trainers..

please use your money wisely..

use it for your own good..

make it enough for yourself!

i haven't been for a 'jog' this year..

i really want to..

but i was just so lazy sometimes to go out..

but after this holiday, i will go for it..

right miley?? <-- my jogging partner..hehe

i have been wanting to lose my weight for all these times..

but still, my food intake is uncontrollable.. huhu

i wish i have a machine that can shaped my body structure.. haha

its okay, i will find other alternatives :)

these days, i am so into all the 'korea stuffs'

this is part of the influence from the running man..

and it makes me wanted to 'dress' like them

listening to their musics.. dance their steps...learning their culture

which makes me to become a so-called-unperfect-malaysian-version-of-korean.. haha

another thing,

i miss my friends so much..

they are my 'car_rush' sisters!

i know that i haven't been in touch with you all all this while..

i am sorry..

sometimes i wish that you all are here so that we can create another beautiful memories just like the old times

but its okay, the time will come soon..

hopefully, the 'little' reunion that you all have been planning will go smoothly

miss you all so much..

back to college life,

i will be resigning my post soon as a JPP

i know that there are just some tasks that are not done properly from my side

that was my mistake, i am sorry..

anyway, it had been a great experience for me..

it will be a useful experience for my future either..

thank you everyone for the guidance and helping hands..

i am now in my sem 3 degree year,

5 more semesters ahead, i will be graduating..it will be a long way..i guess so..huhu

i remember that i had been making so much complaints on my study at the very beginning my foundation year, everything was just too difficult for me..

but now,

i had sensed some improvements in myself..

making me realise, everything takes time..

i hope that this semester will be a good time for me

to learn and improve myself more..

be more hardworking, punctual, and responsible as a degree student

but at the same time enjoying my life as a lively teen :)

i think that i had been blabbering, writing out all the random thoughts..

but i know that this is just part of growing up..

a teenage searching for identity, dealing with the physical appearance and everything about life..

p/s: everything that is written is only the story from my outside part.. for the other part, we will go to it later :)

Dear mom, dad, dearly siblings, other family members, youth friends, and other friends at sabah.. i miss you all too.. God please take care of them wherever they are :)

KUDRAT 2011

It was a wonderful memories to be cherished forever. We had been struggling for months to set up this great team, KUDRAT-ians. All the hard works was paid and worth at last, i believe that everyone had given their best on the night of performance, 4 October 2011. But maybe, the 'champion' title was not meant for us this year. Majority of us feel unsatisfied with the result. I don't understand either which part of our theatre had gone wrong. Maybe we were not good enough in the eyes of the judges. But out of all, i am so happy that all the spectators was entertained by our performance, even some of them said that 'KUDRAT deserves to win'. I was touched. we are the best in the heart of the spectators!

I can say that being in this team is one of the best moments that i had gone through along my years in IPBL. The bond between us was so closed, we laugh and joke around like we knew each other since long time ago. We ate, played bowling, and snapped photo together endlessly. I am so blessed to have them all, although we are from different course, years, states and races, but the spirit of KUDRAT makes us one. That is the best thing about KUDRAT. I miss them all, i miss to spend the moment with KUDRAT-ians.

In the end, i realise that it is more that a theatre itself. It is the spirit of KUDRAT!

The call

O ya, last night I received a call from a strange number; +0309 ! At first, I was scared to take the call because it reminded me of the nombor m***h. But then, I just picked the phone and guess what, it was allyn!! Ponsikou noh tomod alyn for calling me all the way from Aussie!! Really have a great conversation with allyn though the line is a bit slow. I miss her so much!! hope you are doing fine there miss allyn! I know it might be hard, but I am sure you are a strong woman, you will get used with the environment in time. Have faith allyn !!!

Anyway, have a happy day everyone! Let us smile to each other!

Accident

This evening, I was cycling the borrowed bicycle when I had gotten into a small accident and hurt my knee.  I felt so guilty because I hit one of the juniors before I fell down to the ground. So sorry junior. I knew, it was my fault because I should have cycled from the opposite direction or at least press the brake or maybe shout more loudly.

This will remain not only as a scar but a deep remainder for me to be extra careful in the future!

And the most embrassing part was when my tears dropped in front of so many people whom were mostly the TESL juniors! that was really really embrassing. But then, the tears was not because of the pain but because i was touched by the kind-hearted juniors. Thank you so much for the helping hands juniors!

I am wondering when will be my next cycling. Trauma? Not really, but I will need some time to stay away from you Mr. Bicycle.