1 Month left

1 month left and that's it. The same routine will begin soon in few hours. So much mix feeling inside. Trying to comfort my heart between all those thoughts. Holiday had been great but it seems that time is flying so fast this time or isn't that what is happening all these time. Despite of that, I am glad to have a little break in between. So, here it is. Four weeks left. This will be the last teaching phase for me before stepping into the real world of teaching. And this is also the longest time spent with the pupils, 12 weeks, which somehow brings so much mix feelings inside. For the time left, I wish nothing but for us to learn and discover things together as well as to have some good, meaningful and lasting memories. 

Best wishes go to all of my seniors for their posting and juniors for their first day of first phase of teaching practice tomorrow! 

2014 updates!

Hi!

So here I am again, doodling and rambling on things. I am back to IPG and you gotta believe it that this is my  final year! Finally, after all the sweats and inks poured, I am here standing as a final year student! 

Again, I haven't been writing so much about the holiday, the must tell Christmas story, the New Year celebration and of course the resolutions! As everyone ages up, the way they look, perceive and idealise on things change from time to time. That once, wishing everyone on a festive day through text message is a norm, but in the era of Facebook, tagging will spread the wish much more easier. The same go to other things. The way of how we carry things out will be different from year to year, and it is okay to be that. Won't it be good for everyone to change for the better version of themselves? In short, I just want this year to be a productive one, giving the best in everything that I am venturing into, and discover as much as I can even if the road is paved in such that it brings the heart pounding feeling of riding on the coaster. 

I have change the URL of my blog, which is now officially become - frecyllamay.blogspot.com., the title to 'Blessings in my Life' and the most obvious is my header photo. 10 pictures of my edited-own-self that depict the life I am in, though they are not able to precisely describe every single detail about me, but it gives you some idea on who I am. Again, my smiles, those symbolise the virtual greetings for you from me! Every change is to get the site more into personal look of me. This year, I promise to blog more!

Talking about this semester, we only have two subjects and 3 months of standing in front of 30-40 pairs of eyes moments. One of the subjects will be on Action Research, major paper. Honestly, I am curious and scared at the same time of imagining how would the sail be. I hope I could get the right direction of which way to head. Only two subjects? Yup, I have ample of time to have fun, being lazy and a loyal sleepy head! Still, I will force myself to be a productive soul. 

In 3 weeks time will be my third teaching practice, 3 months! This time, I hope that I could elicit and deliver as much as I could. Even though still standing at the inexperience level, but I will try my best to build great rapport with the kids as well as providing opportunities for them discover their own potentials and at the same time trigger their self-learning and self-discovering sides. I know that sounds so much of ambitious, heavy and what the what? Pointing this out is not just merely constructed sentence or disseminating some kind of educational philosophies. But something that come from inside, to realise that the joy of teaching do not come from the grade you get from the mentors, or the praises of how well you did in front of the class but the small little matters that come from the pupils. The joy that they experience from learning, the happiness portray when they are able to do something, the smiles of getting their efforts praised and so on. For this phase, I will give myself as much chance to learn and discover the 'pearl' of teaching too.

In 2014, I get to read and know that most of us want something new, something better and something great for our life. More happiness, lively life, great health, success, wealth and the lists go on. In my own age group, some have started to settle down with career. I love knowing about their stories of working life and actually couldn't wait from my turn too! I believe that everyone has special part and role in building the nation. No matter which profession you are, you could make a difference, carry impact and get people inspired!

Again, before the speech ends, I am not in favour for the road to be easy or sweet all the times. Let it be a challenging one, for I know that He is always in control of things, through the uncertainty and unpredictable journey. It is not just to feel thankful and blessed for the good times but to have faith that during the tough time, He wants us there for purposes and reasons. 

Lastly, I hope and wish everyone to have another great year!

The Determined Me

I feel like I haven't been writing like ages! O my! It is not like I have lost my interest in writing but too little time to write and too much 'lazy' hormone in pouring things out. But yes, life has been great, as always! At some times, I had been activating myself with all the activities, working like a 'real' teacher for the recent teaching practice and travelling around which makes my body to demand for more energy source. At the end of the day, I gain SOME weight and that is an obvious one, poor me! Okay, I know that won't give enough reason of winning everyone's side to feel pity on me. 

That 'pity' feeling is more appropriate to be poured on the recent news in our country. After updating myself with all the recent unexpected cases around Malaysia, it aches my heart! How I wish the world could be much more safer now just like the inactive-Internat reign. But that is how things go, the world is evolving and the people are affected too. Knowing all those things it does trigger the 'educator' side of me. Yet, it does not only fall on our shoulder, but the responsibility goes to everyone: parents, friends, society and the nation. 

Okay, back to the 'weight' story, I shall get myself on track again. Yes, with all the fulfilled days with activities I lost myself against my own diet. Hence, I shall be working on it again for the LEGENDARY comeback! Okay, I know that is too much of exaggerating on things. I am just trying to get myself motivated - that feeling of being determined!

We'll have our annual dinner tomorrow and exam for the days after. In three weeks time, I shall be home and there will be lots of events awaiting! Hopefully, everything will go well. I guess, I will just update everything during the holiday as I will have more time to sit like a 'boss' then.

Before I stop, let this picture entertains you which is on my attempt of getting myself aired higher than the Singapore's flyer but it was a failure. For the next visit, I shall win against that flyer and, of course, with the help from camera trick! ;)

Lastly, I shall get myself to be more determined for the coming exam too!

Hye!

It has been 2 months since my last post which actually makes me close to abandon this site! But, not for now. So many things happened within the months: completing my second phase of teaching practice, BTN course and Singapore Trip! Finally, one of my wish-lists is fulfilled! Perhaps, I will have those stories written when I have longer time to blog. Until then, bye!

Hi !

Hi, it has been a while! 

I guess I have been too much travelling these few weeks! Going here and there, just like a tour all around Sarawak, but a free one! And yes, I have been to almost all the main cities in Sarawak! It is not just about dancing, travelling or sitting in the bus for hours but those highlighted moments spent with the wonderful company who hyper-actively cracking jokes all the way, meeting new people and creating memories! Those things are the ones that making this journey worth.

And as usual, I had been pampering my stomach with foods! Trying to soak all the sweet and sour delicacies of Sarawak. So for the coming days/weeks/months, I need to put on a strict & healthy diet!

Practicum 2 is coming soon too! It is kind of nerve-racking but I guess it will be an exciting one! I wonder how would my pupils be this time. Whatever it is, let have fun learning together! But yes, I need to prepare myself mentally, emotionally and physically too for everything that lies ahead. Practicum 1 has been a great exploration for me and this 2nd phase will be the time for tying up and  putting things in actions. Let see how it goes later!

Have a Blessed Fasting Month to all my Muslim friends and Happy Practicum 2 to all PISMP Jan 2011 teacher trainees all around Malaysia!

Can't wait for the trips in few months time, pray for everything to go well! *wink*

'Leaving On a Jet Plane'

I'm leaving in less than 24 hours and this time my heart is too heavy to do so. But, I have no other choice. So dear heart, lets do this together! 

Holiday has always been great for me, especially when surrounded by families! What I love the most is to just sit and listen to stories told by them. Even on the last week of holiday, I still got my 'sweet escape' to Pitas and Kota Marudu. Last year, during this holiday time, I went for a stay in my cousin's house at KM and got a scarred tattoo after riding on the bike. But for this holiday, I went there and learn to ride the bike which I did! O my! 

As usual, a routine before leaving for IPG, we went for shopping and shopped a lot today! We had our family dinner together too which cost only RM 9.90 per person, Japanese & Korean Vege Buffet at Karamunsing and everyone is to eat as much as he/she wants! 

I met Ellye yesterday and as usual we talked a lot! It makes me to miss the story times we used to have together. Yes, I can't wait for everyone to finish their study! We still have long lists of things to do together!

In one month time, I will be having my second practicum which is around Kuching too. As usual, will be having lectures, BIG and some events! I am not wishing it to be an easy semester but I hope that all of us will have the strength to endure together on whatever that may come along the way and wisdom to handle all the things that we are to do. Stay the course!

For now, dear Mr. Pilot, who ever you are, get the jet ready! :)

The Breaks

I have so much to write, but so little mood to do so. But today, I MUST write!

Two weeks of holiday had passed with every little wonderful moment filling the gaps in between. 

What I love the most in this holiday is that I went to Ranau, which mean I did pass by Bundu Tuhan and Kundasang, breathtaking places! Though we were stuck like almost 4 hours on the way from Kundasang to Ranau, which it was supposed to be less than half an hour drive. Still, it was great to meet cousins and relatives from far. 

I met my childhood playmates too after almost 15 years! And one of them is married now and we met in her wedding reception. It did strike me a while when my grandma said that these day it is quite difficult for us to visit the relatives 'songgiro poh mongoi piruba, aiso no dii pagantakan' (okay, this is my own Dusun version). Indeed, the world is so busy nowadays, that sometimes we do not even have time to say hello to our own far away relatives or friends. So, if there are events held with holidays in between, we should always grab that opportunity to attend, meet and get to know relatives/friends.

My mother and I did also join the volunteers team for 'Sukan Sabah (SAGA) VI' under DBKK. Though at the very first place, I did not plan to join either because I just feel to be home and do nothing but it was too late to back off. Yet, it was a great experiences! I met lot of new people from various part of Sabah, with the different personalities and attitudes they exhibit. I did also make an attempt to serve the food just like the people in my Secondary school's dining hall, though that was not part of the job. I am sure that someday, I will be part of this big event again, not as a volunteer but perhaps from the school community. I might have to bring my own pupils to participate in one of those sport events. Apart from that, I did meet some old friends, see wonderful fireworks colouring the dark sky and experience live performances from the Sabahan's artists. Yes, it was tiring and I got to eat a lot! OMO!

The rest of my time was spent at home: doing cleaning up, arranging my wardrobe, watching movies, updating myself with FB's events, having Zumba session with my mother, playing around with little Amber, cooking for the whole family, reading books, singing karaoke with my little sister or alone!, having small celebration for my mother's birthday, driving aimlessly around the residential area or just sitting alone like a princess! I did go for outings too: hunting for books which I did get one for myself, meeting some friends, seeing the beauty pageants walking on  stage during the Giant's Kaamatan Day and the lists go on. Okay, I know I am writing every single things I did! O my me!

But yes, I love writing things out. That is part of way to record the memories and  the feelings. At least, one day when I read my old posts, that 'One day me' will say, 'Oh, I had been there before, wonderful!'. 

I have been doing so much of reflective thoughts too, I guess, after reading some thought provoking novels and watching inspiring movies: 

That sometimes, we are so busy growing up until we forget that our parents, grandparents and  everyone are growing old too. When we have the opportunity, do spend little time with them at least. Treasure the moments.

That some little things that could bring joy is forgotten. After going through tiring days, ourself needs a little break and there is nothing wrong just to sit down and  do nothing at one point of your life. Perhaps spend the time with the things you love the most, by yourself or with people you love. 

That in this world, we all have different ways of viewing things and we can't expect people to act they way we want. When people are showing their 'true' colour it is a good sign actually that we are knowing them more. Sometimes, we don't need to fit with them, but just accept them the way they are. 

That in every struggles, there is a purpose and great lessons tagged along. When life is turning its way around, it is not wrong to humbly ask for help from others.
That I am so thankful and blessed to have wonderful people around: family, friends and someone. It amazed me too how some things unfold beautifully at the right moment.

Again, it did hit me when there were days when i was so busy learning all the lesson in school that I have overlooked the little lesson that Life is teaching on me on each passed day. Even in the midst of business or brokenness, I know there is small little thing that makes life sweeter. I am blessed to be given the grace to understand Life, though it may take days, months or years to do so. From now on, I want to savour and treasure every single moment in life with everyone, even in a simple manner, and make them the best time in my life!

Updates

The holiday has almost come to the end, for now. I had been spending my holidays watching movie, having random talks with the ladies, online-ing non-stop-ly, strolling around the shopping complex, shopping!, eating some healthy food (I guess!), finishing the 2nd novel of the year, sleeping like a princess, becoming the food hunter in the CNY's open house and watching the fireworks everywhere! 

I guess I have had enough rest, recharged myself. 

Time to fasten your seat belt, dear comrades. It is going to be a long journey! 

And today, I bought a new sport shoes! Finally, I had my jogging time after almost a week. Yaayy!

Hello 2013!

Many unexpected things happened on the last bits of 2012. Fortunately everything is just fine. I was actually not really in mood for everything these last few hours, something is just keep bothering, that mix unexplainable feelings inside. Maybe because my flight is waiting me in few more hours. Can i just sign for another days off from college?

Above all, i'm thankful for everything. The never ending fellowships and gatherings with friends and family makes me feel so happy. I love meeting all my relatives, far or near. Last night was a bliss for us because for the first time ever, an official family gathering was held on my grandmother's side family. I am so happy seeing all my grandma siblings gather around. This tradition will be continued every year and this year will be my grandma's turn to be the organizer. Can't wait for another family gathering. yayy! 

Last night was also my parents' 24th anniversary, and only last night i know it like really sure of it that my parents was the first grandchildren whom got married in Aki Andu's family. I must have been daydreaming for all these times for not knowing that fact. With that, my brother is the eldest great grandson in the big family. Me and some cousins must be the second ones! Never thought of that, omo! Anyway, I pray for a happy and blessed marriage life to my parents. This year will be their 25th anniversary so something surprise must be planned out! Let see how it goes later :D

Well, it is a new year! Let us make it a great and blessed one! Wherever we are and whatever we are doing, do be happy and grateful for our life, most importantly stay firm in our faith :)

Have a great and blessed New Year everyone! Let us smile more in 2013 :D

P.S. I must make myself to fully utilized the leftover hours here. Packing up things, tidying up everything, scrolling through the lecture's schedules and files, listing up things to do and make sure everything is on track for 2013. IPBL life this year must be a 'SAMANGAT' one! Lets get started May!

Blessed Christmas 2012

Merry Christmas everyone!

Okay, i had been spending most of my time strolling around KK town for the past few days. Like buying lots of stuffs for decors and some attires. You know shopping is just part of women's nature.

Just now, i went to Christmas Eve mass. Singing at the choirs makes me feel so excited and grateful having so many people around celebrating the mass together.

Tomorrow morning, we are going back to Toboh village. Hopefully the journey will be a safe one. According to plan that were made earlier, we will be attending Christmas mass there and then going to the next destination, Ranau, my cousin house.

Our Christmas open house will be on 29th December. Everyone is welcomed! Then we will be having a big family gathering on my mother's side on the New Year Eve. Hopefully everything will go well too. Those who will be engaged or married soon, we will try our best to attend the big day.

I'm going back to college in a week time. So dear heart, lets have lots of fun first!

Finally, have yourself a little merry Christmas wherever you are. God bless :D

Updates

I have just recovered from a terrible-headache-diarrhoea sickness which for the first time ever, i skipped a class ! i really can't afford to even stand for minutes. I was forcing myself to walk in and out of the toilet. Even during the dance practice i felt like collapsing on the floor. It was damn-ly tiring and headache-ing. I wish i could just faint anywhere. The worse things were the food was tasteless, i had a sore throat and I just don't feel like going to clinic.

Luckily the sickness does not last forever. Thanks roomate for the panadol and cool fever! not to forget my friends around for your concerns, Kamsahamida! I am gaining my energy back, all the food become tasty again, no more spending so much time in the toilet and i am able to dance gracefully on the stage :D

Can't wait for the show! Two more days. I hope everything will go smoothly and please be healthy dear may! 

Reminiscing the memory of musical night in 2009. We were the newbies back then. Yayy ! Such a wonderful memory to join the dancing troupe in IPBL :D

Here i am now, counting days for..

musical night 2012

exam to end ~ jiayoouuu !

&

flight to go back home! I miss I miss I miss my home !

I have long lists for things to do and places to go for my holidays this time.

FUNNY thing happened today ~ I was sitting comfortably on my chair this evening and suddenly i felt my hand was thinner than before, like i was touching a thin skin and i can feel the BONE part ! and suddenly i just had this automatic movement to cafeteria. I rushed to the counter, ordered my food and had it eaten as soon as possible ~ i feel that i am becoming thinner than before. Is it because of the sickness or did i loss my memory on eating my dinner. O dear, i want to lose weight but feel scare if in no time i become like a skeleton walking around ! ~ okay i know this is not funny at all.

But really, i need to congratulate myself for taking my dinner today. yaayy! 

Till then.

I want to and I will

These days have been so good to me. I have had a good, happy and great day. Well yes because all the assignments and tasks were submitted. The marks are in, only left with the exam part which will start this end of month. But still, i haven't started with my revision. I am still leisurely enjoying my free time. Following activities around. But it is alright, i need some fresh air. Need to socialise with people around after weeks cramping my brain with all the assignment stuffs. 

Tomorrow, we are going to have a netball tournament. How i wish that everyone could join. Because honestly, i play for enjoyment not for the sake of winning only. If winning is the point of participating the sport, then we should start with the training earlier like months ago. It just for fun. But it's okay, all the best for us tomorrow. Do cheer for us yaa. Musical night is coming in less that 2 weeks where the show will be on 21 October, at night. Can't wait for the night to come ~ lets dance together :D The dinner was great and the RunNat was awesome! Both moments are cherished in my heart ! Looking forward for these events next year.

Today, we had this talk with our lecturer about our overall performance in study. I can feel that most lecturers are just not that happy with us. We are the first batch of TESL and the one who is spotted by the MQA in 2014. I know we should do better, not just individually but as a group. But I know we could, we want to do better and we will do excellently. Being teacher is not as easy as one thinks off. Yes, the pay is high and we get long holidays, but guaranteed job is 'NO' on next year onwards. We do need to go through some kind of interview before posting. Teaching in class is just not to make the pupils learn but we also need to take care of the classroom management, different learning style, surrounding area, tools we used in class and everything, not including the filing & records, exam, discipline problems, GERKO, and so on. Yes, every profession has it advantages and disadvantages too. But what makes teacher profession so special is that, a teacher could mould one's future whether to inspire them or to put them down. Most of us stand on our path today is because of our teachers back then. Even sometimes, children believe their teacher more than their parents. Yes, teacher holds much powers that one could think off. That is why we really need to build our proficient, not just for the sake of teaching but to inspire one, to touch the heart of the new generations.

Anyway, we have two more years to go after this semester. Yes, more focus is needed. But at the same time even though study in my priority now, i will not forget all the beautiful things that come along the way. I don't want to stuck myself with all the notes in room. I want to join other activities too. Going for a trip, dancing, participating in any competition, playing sports, outing, laughing, reading novel, playing games, spending times with family and friends, jogging or at least go for a nice evening walk. Seize every moments.

Yes, I want to and i will :)

Update

Finally, the holiday season has arrived. Though it is not a long and that-free holiday, but still it is time for home ! So, i went back yesterday morning. Reached home around 12 noon with tiredness and sleepiness. Seem like this week has been quite a sleepless night for us as we were to submit few tasks. Yesterday, i did also have a wonderful night meeting my fellow high school friends. They were still awesome like always, still with the smesh-like jokes ! everything reminds me of my secondary days ~ yaayy ! It was really a great night, thank you for those who were able to make it. Looking forward for another gathering with more of us :)

This morning, I woke up early to send mimi to the bus station. She was going home and i just hope she reached home safely  which she did ! yaayy ! Then, I went to the church for mass. After mass I met my youth friends. They were welcoming as always. Feel so happy meeting them. As far as i could remember, my SYD spirit had almost dried out. Yet, after meeting them, it goes up ! Thank you Lord ! I am going for SYD 3 next week. I hope i will be preparing my inner self within these few days. Around 2pm, we had our choir practice for one of the masses during the SYD later. Singing in the choirs makes my soul refreshed inside ! Once again, thank you Lord for this blessing !

I did also meet someone today. I just hope she is doing fine and may God bless her with good health and happy days. Take care aunty :)

Tomorrow will be having my SBE at SK Inanam Laut. This time, even though i might be alone, I will give my best ! yeee ! :)

So far, life is full of blessings. Loving Father, thank you :)

Demotivating

I don't know why i just feel so demotivating with everything in my life now. There are lots of things to be done but i am not in the mood to progress. As if something is missing somewhere but i don't know what is it. I have been so leisurely enjoying my days with outings. It was great! But somewhere there are still some missing pieces in my life. Huhh ! It is not like i am not being ungrateful. At some points, i was having a thought of how would my life be 1 year from now, 3 years or 10 years ? It is a kind of life where i will be graduating after my final year, posted to some random schools in rural area, meeting my future husband, get married, having children, ensuring them to get proper education and spending the rest of my life educating other children too. Looking everything as a whole, it is kind of predictable story.

Hmm .. 

Yet, i am not sure either if that is the exact kind of life i will lead someday. But at least, i want to do something adventurous and yet memorable to be kept. I have bunch of lists of places to go and activities to be done. Like going for a 'one man' travelling to some foreign country, greeting strangers and seating in a bus with bunch of unknown people.

Anyway, i will be back in less than two weeks. Sadly, i just don't have that excitement to go back home. Don't know why. Though my holidays are fully occupied with activities where one of them is the most awaited one. Maybe i have this little imbalanced-mood-state inside. I feel like going for shopping , or a proper words to describe ~ window shopping. You know, some girls love to go for it as it gives us some fresh-sight. I know that i don't have that much money to own everything but i just love to  have beautiful things around. 

Picture taken at Lundu last Saturday ~ it was a great breath-taking road trip !

Updates

The second week of the new semester is almost over. But, i am still not able to tune myself with the study environment ! I have been pampering myself for most of the time, like being so RELAX as if there is no task to be completed. I have lost my interest in Facebook-ing and updating my blog. I guess, i don't have that much things to pour out anymore. But still, the heart-pounding excitement of going for a convoy is still there. Yes, I really want to have another round of it!

I just feel so blessed with everything. I have had a great day attending every lecture, not because of the study part, but because i enjoy being around my classmates. Somehow, I feel the bond between us has grown so much closer. We crack jokes everyday and even laugh at the same jokes over times ! How wonderful it is ! In less than two weeks, it will be our 3rd year anniversary! 3 years? That is so fast. Too much memories created along the way, and i am just so thankful for having them throughout my journey of life. Years to come, we might find ourselves walking in different parts, channelling all the knowledge we have gotten to the new generation. Yet, this circle of friendship should not be broken, will keep you all in my heart always :) 

Thank you for everything ~ PISMP TESL Jan 2011 IPBL

Updates

One week holiday had passed!

I have had my 'rest' more than enough

Last Tuesday was a blast,

We had a CNY's open house marathon..6 houses in a day..

thank you so much to my lecturers and friends for the sweet times, delicious foods and great fellowship that we shared along the way.. i am so blessed to have them all :)

The allowance was out yesterday!

once again, we spent the whole day at spring...shopping and eating!

though we didn't have the chance to watch movie and Kbox -ing

but it's okay, another day will do

it was fun, hunting for clothes and accessories all around spring

and the food..yumyum pizza!!

everything makes me feel like i am a lively teen!

Lots of loves to my besties, mimi and faz, for making my day so much fun :D

Talking about money and allowance..

our lecturers have always remind us that 'we are paid to come to class'

that is obvious for sure!

there is no other institution that is paying their student for free..except the education institute.. those who study in 'teacher college' to be specific..

we don't have any semester's fee but are given a big sum of money which is no need to be paid back..except for the 'special case'

but the condition is only one;

we have to be a 'faithful' government servant for the rest of our life which comes together with an add-on title in front of our name after graduation - 'teacher'

so.. dear teacher trainers..

please use your money wisely..

use it for your own good..

make it enough for yourself!

i haven't been for a 'jog' this year..

i really want to..

but i was just so lazy sometimes to go out..

but after this holiday, i will go for it..

right miley?? <-- my jogging partner..hehe

i have been wanting to lose my weight for all these times..

but still, my food intake is uncontrollable.. huhu

i wish i have a machine that can shaped my body structure.. haha

its okay, i will find other alternatives :)

these days, i am so into all the 'korea stuffs'

this is part of the influence from the running man..

and it makes me wanted to 'dress' like them

listening to their musics.. dance their steps...learning their culture

which makes me to become a so-called-unperfect-malaysian-version-of-korean.. haha

another thing,

i miss my friends so much..

they are my 'car_rush' sisters!

i know that i haven't been in touch with you all all this while..

i am sorry..

sometimes i wish that you all are here so that we can create another beautiful memories just like the old times

but its okay, the time will come soon..

hopefully, the 'little' reunion that you all have been planning will go smoothly

miss you all so much..

back to college life,

i will be resigning my post soon as a JPP

i know that there are just some tasks that are not done properly from my side

that was my mistake, i am sorry..

anyway, it had been a great experience for me..

it will be a useful experience for my future either..

thank you everyone for the guidance and helping hands..

i am now in my sem 3 degree year,

5 more semesters ahead, i will be graduating..it will be a long way..i guess so..huhu

i remember that i had been making so much complaints on my study at the very beginning my foundation year, everything was just too difficult for me..

but now,

i had sensed some improvements in myself..

making me realise, everything takes time..

i hope that this semester will be a good time for me

to learn and improve myself more..

be more hardworking, punctual, and responsible as a degree student

but at the same time enjoying my life as a lively teen :)

i think that i had been blabbering, writing out all the random thoughts..

but i know that this is just part of growing up..

a teenage searching for identity, dealing with the physical appearance and everything about life..

p/s: everything that is written is only the story from my outside part.. for the other part, we will go to it later :)

Dear mom, dad, dearly siblings, other family members, youth friends, and other friends at sabah.. i miss you all too.. God please take care of them wherever they are :)

First week in IPBL

I had gone through my 1st week in IPBL and everything was just unpredictable!

Our institute is still in 'upgrading' process, so there are constructions all over the place. I hope that everything will be finished in time. We got a new cafe tender but the food is a bit expensive for me. There were just so much difficulties that i had to adapt with in this first week after my long holiday. yes, i do feel home sick but i am so used to it already. For now, everything is fine. I just need to adjust myself a little bit.

Last Thursday, we had our 1st public holiday because of the heavy rain around Kuching. It was a happy 'hours' for us as we got to enjoy our beauty sleep and rest with a comfortable atmosphere around. So cold, as if I was sleeping with the air-cond being turned on. But, that day turned out to be 'tragedy' after a girl was found death because of the flood from the heavy rain. This incident happened just a distance away from our college. I feel so shocked after hearing this news from my roommate. It touched me to know that there was a kind-hearted guy who did not know how to swim tried to save the girl but unfortunately he was drawn away by the flood. It was so ironic that i got to enjoy my life but on the other side some people were fighting hard for their life. Life is just so unpredictable.

I was surrounded by guiltiness for these few days for not being able to complete a simple task. I had been so irresponsible for these few days and selfish! I know it is a little thing and not many helping hands is needed, but being irresponsible make me feel so guilty and not worth to stand on that position. Yeah, i shouldn't be there at the first place. It only left few months, i just hope that i can do something to at least be worth of receiving the certificate later. At least, becoming a bit responsible and lessen the complaints. Yeah, i just don't like to neglect the things that had been assigned to me, that is part of my responsibility even though i do not have any intention to take the post at the very first place. But i know that there is a reason why i am there.

My mind is still pondering over the question that my lecturers had asked us few days ago. It was a bit worrisome and i feel that my front sight is getting a little bit blur. Is this a right way to go? I hope so.

It is only the first week but it gave me a lot to think about the road ahead. I just hope that everything will be fine.

Have a blessed Sunday :)

Update

Few updates from me:

1. I had just finished with my SBE II at Sk Pekan Kiulu. it was great though i didnt really get the chance to mingle with the students. still, i meet great company of teachers there. they are all super awesome

2. I will be back to IPBL in less than 48 hours and will be struggling in finishing all the postponed assignments. O dear, i feel like my mind is going to blow up soon.

3. I am in the mood of designing or more precisely, editing a thing like decorating my blog, oo the word should decorating, in the mood of DECORATING something, that's better! and I also feeling like spending out my money! May I?

But now, i need someone to knock my head and tell me it's not a happy-and-relax-day any more, time to get up, put on your suit may!

Updates

Sometimes, i feel that the time is flying so fast that i could not even realise that i was breathing ! oh no, it is going to be the 6th week of studying soon for this sem and i haven't really settle down everything. I know that i had been sleeping like a baby for days (night + day), eat & shop endlessly when there was nothing to do. And the worst part is that, i havent done anything for the assignments which mostly are to be submitted before this coming holidays in few weeks time again. See!

I will be back to Sabah in 5 weeks from now and have my SBE there again (see the dates that are highlighted in pink, that is my holidays!) This time i will be doing my SBE at Kiulu, at my uncle's school. Hopefully, i will have at least a companion there. But now,i really have to settle down everything. Need to start up with assignments and the given tasks. There will be a lot of research-doing in this sem. Our BIG is coming soon but it will be a charity work only. No more camping, no more rafting ! Basically, everything in sem is mostly the same as what we have had for the 1st sem, like having PBS, BIG, assignments, and portfolio of course ! and finally the examination. but something different is that i am a full time JPP ~ but don't worry, i have wholly accepted this responsibility in my heart.

For the activities part. After the holidays, we are going to have a kind of carnival (which reminds me of our book affair day) here which is one of the tesl's activities. Can't wait to see all the little children around. Next week, there will be a camp at St Lukas. It is Inter Campus Camp (ICC). I will be going for it, yaayy! another thing is that i am joining the IPG drama again. At first, i was given a character but i refused it cause i know that i am really 'suck' when it comes to acting part, seriously! so i will just join the dancers - KUDRAT TARI. This time, the drama will be at Miri which is after the raya holiday.

Hopefully, everything will be fine this sem. 

And the things that i can't wait for this year is the celebration of the SYD cross which will be coming to our church at the end of the year! yeah, here comes the memory of SYD 2 again. may God bless the cross journey ! so now is the perfect time for me to settle down everything!