Smile

One thing that I have learnt during SBE is try to smile every moment even though the pain is killing me inside. I am still learning this skill and I guess not most people own it. Maybe for some, they think it is better to just express everything what they feel inside. It's up to them. But to tell you, giving a smile won't hurt anyone. Instead, a little smile can make your day no matter how heavy the burden inside. I guess covering your burden with a sweet smile is one of the biggest challenges in life cause sometimes emotional control does matter in certain situation. Still, its up to us how we want to colour our day!

This is what I have learnt from someone - Kak Ti - and I will not forget it. Smile always, cheers!!!

Life Purpose

Just now, I was reading a wonderful post from a friend of mine ~ going oversea is wonderful, but it's worthless if there is no life-changing. It is a thinkable post and I guess everyone should read it. So after reading, I have this question on my mind; What is my real life purpose? I do have mine, but its kind of blur now. I have forgotten the things that I really want to focus in this life since I have stopped writing on my yearly planner. 

I think, I have to spend some time to sit down and ponder back what are the things that matter the most in my life: to be a successful teacher?? to make everyone around me happy?? to travel around the world?? to enjoy life to the fullest until my last breath?? they are part of it. But those are not the main one, I have to think it again. I know that God is always there, walking just right beside me. He always guides me through His beautiful plan in my life. Now, I have reached this point of life which sometimes I am not skilled to understand why I have to be here. For sure, God has His own reasons. I believe that and always believe.

Though I didn't get what I really want to be after my secondary days, but I know that I am walking in my mum's unfulfilled dream. It will be a challenges path to walk on and I have no other option but to be stronger in every step! So people, let us spend this little moment to ponder about our real life purpose and what are the things that matter the most. God has given us the drawing, its up to us what colour we want to put on it.

ST AGNES ~ you will be missed!

My lonely first day PBS in St Agnes turns out to be the most awesome one at the end of the day! The teachers are so friendly and even the staffs. Although the PKs are busy, still they did spend some time for me. Thank you so much. To Madam Kuilim M., Principle of St Agnes, thank you so much for accepting me! and to the lovely students, all the BEST!

I really have had great time doing my SBE here. I have learnt a lot! And only for the first time, I know that most teachers own different types of personalities; in class, in staffroom and outside school. They are still the same person but act according to what kind of environment they are in to.

Some of the memorable words from the adorable students are:

'slmat pg cikgu'

'hai cikgu!'

'cikgu msk klas kmi lg bsuk??'

'cikgu kta men kuiz2 lg!'

'cikgu cikgu...'

'cikgu last sda ni ari??alaa..'

'cikgu ada fb??'

'CIKGU KEJA SINI LA BA TRUS!!'

ST AGNES ~ you will be missed :(

SBE day 3 ~ 'bisuk cikgu masuk kelas kami lagikah?'

I reached school today around 7 am. As usual, we sing 'Negaraku' and 'Sabah Tanah Airku' before the class started. After singing, I met the ustazah to ask on the Muslim students' activities here. Suddenly, Kak Ti called me and asked me to be the relief teacher of four Harmoni ~ moral class. At first, I was having a second thought, I haven't plan anything. But she said

Kak Ti: tak apa, try saja, ala bdk2 ja tu, ble kamu app skill kamu..

Me: tapi kak, dorg x kenal sy

Kak Ti: xpa xpa, kakak bawa kamu jmpa drg skrg...

and I was like ...really???

Then we walked to 4 H and the only thing I can do was smiling in front of the students while Kak Ti was introducing my name to the students. After that, Kak Ti brought me to the canteen and invited me to have breakfast together. She spent me some more. Okay, this is to much. Huhu. However, I feel comfortable to be her company. She is so friendly and funny. 

At 9.10 am, I was standing in front of 16 moral students of 4H class. Okay, nervous! It took me few minutes to figure out how am I going to spend this one hour with them. So we started off by having simple ice breaking. I asked them to introduce their name, where they stay and their ambition. Most of them want to be doctors, scientists and police. Some do interested in teaching field. A few of them wish to be astronaut. So adorable! We continue our so-called lesson with a kind of 'Roda Impian' game and then proceeded by 'Kahwin, tunang, cerai' game! Frankly, I was really having fun with them though some can't just stop talking. They are so cute! And at the end of the class, I was touched when some of them said...

Student: bisuk cikgu masuk kelas kami lagikah?

Me: tgk dlu, kalu xda cikgu ganti, cikgu masuk jg. Napa? Kamu mau miss **** yg msk ka?

Student: xmo, kami mau cikgu

*smiling*

My day continued with me sitting down in the staffroom, drafting up all the questions for the interviews. Then, with a nervous heart, I met the GB. But she doesn't seem 'strict' when I interviewed her, indeed each word that came out from her mouth was followed by a sweet smile. Yeah, she do look friendly!

At 12pm, I met my cousin, poyong, she is in primary 1 (evening session). I still remember yesterday when I met her, she asked me a funny question; may, ko tia malu ka jadi cikgu? Then I laugh. I also don't know why she thinks that becoming a teacher is something that is embrassing. poyong poyong.

When the school finished, I met my other cousins, bibi and ayen. After taking lunch together, we strolled around the school compaound for me to take more pictures.

I stayed back until 3 to see the '1 Murid, 1 Sukan' program and become the 'photographer of the day'. Though it might look weird taking pictures around but I have too. If not, I won't have any pictures taken at the end of the day. So for this time, let me just take your pictures dear beloved students! I guess, the teachers do understand it and even Mr, Ruzaini encourage me to do so. Thank you for your understanding.

Overall, I was a bit happy today and it will be a day of remembrance of my first time entrance to the class. Tell you, it is a little bit difficult to handle a class of 16 students, but I am quite sure that the stress might be even greater when the student capacity is doubled or tripled.

Two more days, hopefully I can finish all the tasks given before the end of the day. I am sure that, I will miss this school later though last night my heart is shouting to go back IPBL.

I thank God that I managed to walk through the day.

SBE day 2 ~ 'Selamat pagi cikgu'

Today, I entered 2 classes to observe how the teacher teaches the students in the class. Then, I went around the school, interviewing some teachers and snapping more photos. And today, I still feel alone. But the happiest moments were when some of the students wish me 'Selamat pagi cikgu' ~ oww, so sweet.

And today, teacher Fatimah, or known as Kak Ti asked me if I want to be a relief teacher for tomorrow class. I think, i will give a try!