Movie and Me

I had been spending most of my free time watching movie for these past few weeks. It is like A LOT! It is not just about for entertaining or sitting like a boss on the chair, pulling all my sight on the screen, but more than that. Just like reading a book, it brings my mind to a wonderful journey to travel through the various life stories portray in those movie. I am sure there are so many underlying values that we can learn from movie. Like how to go through certain situations, how to handle some things or how to deal with those unbalanced emotions. It provides an insight, a wonderful one if we look into in positively! 

Sometimes, when I am walking down the road, I see many people with diverse appearances. Somehow by seeing them physically, I could predict how their life are. Like how their smiles tell me that something good has just happened to them or the anger shown as if someone has hurt them. Or by simply looking on their attires, it tells me the kind of job they are into or the life struggles they might be facing on that moment. Yes, my interpretations may not be all true but somehow it makes me to ponder, to spend some time to think about the little things in others' life, to build some empathy on the life of others and to come into understanding that some things are like that. This might be because of the 'schemata' built through watching movie. 

We might be stepping on the same ground but the world we are living is different in so many ways. The challenges, the hurdles, and everything in between. But, one thing i am sure about, we are all blessed in so many ways that we could never imagine of. Each of us, regardless of the vague differences, reciprocally complete each other. 

Again, there is no same interpretations of how we come into conclusion through the stories depicted in the movie. Because somehow, even we are agree upon a thing, but the degree of 'agree-ness' may varies.

But yes, movie and me, they click perfectly together!

Someone

Happy Mother's Day!

When i was in my Primary school, my mother saw an old friend and said to me, 'She is one of my friends in high school and now she is a teacher'. I was so little to understand why my mother said so.

When i was in my Secondary school, there was one time my mother suddenly told me, 'When i was at your age, i wanted to be a teacher when i finish my school years'. But, she did not further explain the story.

When i got my interview result for Teacher Training Institute, my mother was constantly reminding me to give my best for it.

When i was accepted to the Teacher Training Institute, my mother was the happiest person.

Now, i understand why.

For some reasons, i am walking down this path for the blessing that comes from my mother. Though she didn't get the chance to be one, but her daughter is. 

Back to 1988, on my parents' wedding day. I am not sure how did my mother feel when she was wearing the bride's gown and saying out her wedding's vow on that day. But I am sure that God has planned a wonderful journey for her as a loving wife and caring mother. Indeed, she is more than that, a blessing!  

Happy Mother's Day dear mother. May God bless you always.

A Thought

I went for my second jog today after one month did not have one, finally! Such a refreshing feeling! I have always love to jog! It is not just for health or to maintain my slimness! But more than that. At times, I love spending time alone, looking at the wide sky, seeing the sun setting, watching the people playing sports, listening to the song of flying birds or simply feeling the warm breeze. What a peaceful feeling! In that calmness, i get myself some time to reflect about life as whole. Thinking about the past events, the things that are happening now and the awaited future moments. For everything, all i could say is 'what a great journey travelled, and yes i can't wait for the next adventures!'

I did spend some time for outings, watching lots of movies, talking randomly and sleeping with no alarm set.  I am savouring and enjoying every moment of it! Yes, i need some breaks after the one month practicum. Listening to some stories on practicum from other friends makes me feel that 'yes, everyone is fighting their own battle, dealing with various challenges'. It was not just the teaching part that makes the tiredness grow but the process of planning and everything. We only have like 10 periods of teaching and given small tasks for this practicum. But when we are in the real world of teaching, we have to take like 28 periods per week and given some big responsibilities along the way. The challenges in physically, mentally and emotionally will be bigger than before. Life must be quite busy then. Sometimes, i wonder if i am able to cope with it. But i believe i could and everyone could too. Now, is the process of learning and training to prepare us for the real challenges. Most importantly, never give up trying and don't loss passion in what you are doing. This is not just happening to us, future educators, but to everyone in whatever profession they are into or going to be in. 

Through days, i learn that the assignments given, the lectures held and the events organised are not just merely there for us as college students. But that is part of the training for everything that lies in the future. Because in later days we are not only to deal with our career but also the people and things around us: family that need to be taken care of, friendship circle that need to be kept, relationship that need to be built or simply making time for ourselves and the lists go down. Having my practicum for one month too makes me feel like 'Oh, this is my working life in the future'. And yes, i was really rarely in contact with everyone. After everything ended, I just had that overflowed feeling of missing everyone. But this is just the earlier stage. There are still lots of things i need to learn and through the process i believe that i will be able to balance everything and everyone will too. 

I don't hope for something bombastic to happen in my life. I just want to live it, savour every moments, even through the difficult and hectic times, with the people around and feel the blessings that God has for me. 

I miss them a lot :')

pagiku cerahku,matahari bersinar
kugendong tas merah ku di pundak
slamat pagi smua ku natikan dirimu
didepan kls mu menantikan kami

guruku tersayang guruku tercinta
tanpamu apa jadiny aku
tak bisa baca tulis mengerti banyak hal
guruku terima kasih ku

nyatanya diriku kadang buat mu marah
namun segala maaf kau berikan

slamat pagi smua ku natikan dirimu
didepan kelas mu menantikan kami

guruku tersayang guruku tercinta
tanpamu apa jadiny aku
tak bisa baca tulis mengerti banyak hal
guruku terima kasih ku

nyata diriku kadang buat mu marah
namun sgala maaf kau berikan

guruku tersayang guruku tercinta
tanpamu apa jadiny aku
tak bisa baca tulis mengerti banyak hal
guruku terima kasih ku

Listening to this song and thinking that there will be no more saying 'Good morning boys and girls' tomorrow saddened me a lot. On the last day, i purposely did not want any of my pupils to cry because with all my heart i could not stand it too if it really happens. I will be in tear too. I tried my best to handle that feeling, to hide the sadness of separation behind those smiles. At one point, i just feel so emotional inside when everyone was looking at me while i was giving my 'last' advices. Of course, it is not that we are not going to meet again like forever. But somehow, between those four weeks of practicum it has formed some kind of strong emotional attachment between me and them. Plus, they are the first group of pupils i am teaching and that what makes them so special to me. There were days when i can't stand their behaviours and i scolded as well as shouted to them. With all my heart, i was so guilty after that. But that is part of the learning process for me. I should handle by emotion carefully. Despite of all the challenges, the ups and downs, the laughs burst, the awkwardness sparked, the happiness shared, i do miss them a lot. I hope they will grow not only in their knowledge but also in their personality and life as whole.

4C & 5A, SK Tabuan, you will be miss :')