The Journey

Promising to self to blog more this holiday but it was a fail. Maybe, I am not in that mood to write anything down. As holiday has almost come to an end, I decide to stay away from connecting with the Net. Spending more time on lively activities or just pondering my surrounding area. Getting to know, learn and understand how things work out,  how events carry the rippled effects and how people idealise their life. Weeks ago, few big rocks bumped into me, figuratively. At first, I thought that it was the end, but the story still need a continuation. Came another one which almost sunk me down and ripped the whole thing out. This time, I saw blank. I just felt like hiding under the blanket forever. But God triggers me. It was not the finishing line but the starting of another chapter.

As I age up, I realise that I am making so much assumptions, thinking and figuring on all the events in life. It is not just merely crowning one as a champion or a failure but it is a real, planned JOURNEY to be travelled. Regardless of all the things that happened, it gives me more opportunities to carry out new 'missions', commence conversations with those unknowns and experience the difference emotional states. True, that life can be 'suck' at time. There are people out there who will treat you the way you never expect, who will take you for granted, who want to show you that they hold the power to make you feel tiny. Still, there are many who own big hearts, who will give you opportunity to strive, who unconsciously share their stories to light you up and so on. Through everything, I learn that, no matter what the result is,  do acknowledge it because it is journey to be travelled, even when it goes to the downhill. I promise you that there is always light of hope at the end of the dark tunnel if you never give up hope. The reasons might not be unveil soon, but perhaps years later. 

Maybe, the road that I am going to travel later is a hilly one, and that is one of the reasons why I had been put into that situation. The experience gained from that journey, I will embrace it in my heart forever. 

What if...

Each soul must have ponder the same phrase, each day, each moment in life. I have been thinking the same too. Sometimes, I have so much positive vibes inside that I always describe life as GREAT! And I'm wandering if that word really precisely pointing on all the things that are happening, or am I just being positive with everything, pretending that life is really just great, or it is just a comforting word to tell everyone that I am happy enough with everything. The transition of life has been so fast at some times, and flows slowly at times. In between I found myself contemplating for so many times with big 'What if' accompanying each thought. There are just so much things that is unsure, unpredictable and incomprehensible. That one small thing happened could bring so much effects to the things around. Some just break my heart a lot. I thought that with all the exposures and experiences gained could make me strong enough to stand everything. But I was wrong. It is not just about achieving things, but to learn and realise the lesson tagged in each moment. 

For each fall back, I believe that it is a golden moment for me to reflect back everything. I couldn't just move  forward without analysing the surrounding. It is not just about being contented but to feel blessed for whatever states of life that overtake us, knowing that He is in control and letting Him works things out. To detach some feelings, pains and wounds are not easy, but it is a worth experience to shape, strengthen and heal the mind, heart and soul. Even if the road is just unsure, I will keep on walking and putting everything wholeheartedly in His hands.

LIFE: 'Subjective'

For all the things that happened or are happening, I have grown so much and I believe everyone does too.

Through the days, months and years, I come to learn that LIFE is SUBJECTIVE. That everyone has their own definitions and versions of it. We might discover the same things and facts in life but the degree of what kind of judgement we put into it are vaguely big, HUGE! 

And the clinche-ly quote always goes 'Don't judge, don't judge, and don't judge!' but the real fact is that people judge all the time, ALL THE TIME! 

For me that is okay! and I would be happy enough knowing that everyone is judging even though sometime it hurts. Why so? Because we couldn't run from not judging others. Why do we learn all and memorize all the Mathematics formula once upon a time: it is no other reason than to make your brain keep on calculating, thinking, analyzing, making the wise decision and be more critical! Which in short: use your brain productively! Just because we learn all the formulas, that doesn't mean that we need to encounter them literally on daily basis, but the implicit skills learnt through the process are the ones should be highlighted. 

I am not practising favouritism of proving everyone how useful the subject is just because I am a number lover. The underlying things that I would like to surface is the reason why people keep on judging and it is okay to do so. 

At some points, we might not realise that actually people do judge but the judgement made met with the expectation that we goal for, and in turn it becomes a compliment for us, a reasonable justification. 

But when it is the negative outcomes, the war starts! All in all, it always depends on an individual how he deals with the situations. Because everything that comes out is a great lesson if we look into it positively. At some points, we have to dare to stand no matter what are against us. Learn to step out from the comfort zone, trust your own opinions and be brave enough to walk on the road not taken. 

For all the things that happened along the way, which some make my faith shakeable, I am still feel grateful because it leads to where I am now, the ultimate blessed state and it is a testimony of how great God's love is.

P/S In case people are judging you next time, let them do it. As life is SUBJECTIVE, you define your own stance! ;)

A world to run

I know that title is a bit ambitious, or should I said it too much? A lady like me to run a world? Impossible? But let make it possible! As everyone has the chance to make differences, why don't start a little thing which in turn could spread a great rippled effect around, and even to the world! okay, I shall stop that philosophical doses!

Almost two weeks off for holiday and it feels awesome! So much things happened and so much stories need to be written out. Perhaps, I shall work as a typewriter this holiday, should I? Okay, get things direct to the point. I know it is still not yet the end of year, but still let gets some things summarised;

2013: Two semesters done: 5th and 6th. Rooster. Class Retreat. Teaching Practice 1. Exam. Mid-Sem breaks. Miri Dancing. BCF Dancing. Teaching Practice 2. The Journey 2.0 Camp. BTN Course. Singapore Trip. Musical Night. Annual Dinner.  Exam. HOLIDAY. KL-Malacca Trip! 

Oh, I feel like I had won the World Championship Award! Did I? Yes, in my own midsummer dream! But yes, that feeling of being satisfied is totally there. At least, there are so much moments treasured in between despite of all the hectic schedules, mixed-up-down-feelings. Opps, sorry for marking myself as the 'most busiest person in the world', don't worry everyone deserves the title too. And I am still young, I shall embrace the joy of being young adult and channelling all the energy into the positive entertaining vibes around!

Plan for holiday: most of the time spending time with my families and act like a boss, but no bossing around! Cause this might be the last-relaxing holiday I have as years to come I might be drowning myself to other things, venturing to more challenging life getaway or perhaps grooming newly found hobbies! Still, I do need to be more productive this holiday, not just for the sake that next year will be the final but for the long haul! 

Dear May, get up, you got a world to run for! ;)

Be AWESOME!